In Plain Sight
by YesNoMaebySo
Summary: Takes place after season 3.  A little mystery, romance, and humor.  Castle is out of town when Beckett receives some difficult news and suddenly she finds herself wishing he was home with her...
1. Chapter 1

In Plain Sight

A/N: Hello, All! I am officially merging into the world of FF! This is my first attempt at a story so reviews would be wonderful! My goal is to really have this be a character driven story (with Caskett, don't worry) but I do need to create a bit of a plot so I can have an excuse for the fluff! (I'm all about balance) :) I've got the first few chapters already written so initially updates shouldn't take very long if there is sufficient interest! Thanks!

Chapter 1

She ran her fingers carefully over the fabric contained inside the box.

_To KB, _the note on the inside read_, See you soon. -RC_

From the moment she noticed the box on the floor outside the door to her apartment she found herself glancing around suspiciously as though Ryan and Esposito were just around the corner waiting to dish out some grief over receiving gifts from the writer. She had hurriedly gathered it in her arms and rushed inside to avoid any prying eyes. It wasn't until now, when she was alone in her room with the door shut, that she allowed herself to enjoy the gift he had so clearly chosen specifically for her.

A small smile played on her lips as she gently shook out the silk, teal, kimono-style robe. It had delicate, light pink cherry blossoms with precise gold embroidery weaving in, out, and around the flower pattern. It was girly, but she found she liked that he could see her wearing something aside from the more practical outfits she wore to work everyday. And, if she was honest with herself, she missed him.

He'd been gone for nearly four weeks. He hadn't wanted to leave, not with her still recovering from the gunshot wound back in May, but at three months out from her surgery she was healing quite well and, after all, he had promised Alexis. His daughter started school at Stanford come January and they had always planned to take a trip out of the country before she started college. So, true to his word, and after much reassurance from Kate that she would be fine, he and Alexis left for Japan for a month.

"Go, Castle, I'll be fine!" she had told him.

"Well, I mean, we had originally planned to go after her senior year of high school- not after her junior year, so technically, we could wait one more year and go next summer-"

"Castle," she'd had to interrupt him as she so often did, "this is important. I know it's hard for you to see it because you've been so wrapped up in taking care of me but you and Alexis _need _to do this. It means a lot to her and she's given up so much of her time with you because of me." She had studiously avoided looking at him and concentrated on the file in front of her as she swallowed the last of her words.

He had known she was right. After all, she was back at work part time, desk duty only, of course, and she had recovered enough that she was able to cook, clean, and dress herself for the first time since the shooting. She still got sore and tired towards the end of the day but she really didn't need him around for that. The pain made her irritable anyway.

The alarm on her phone startled her from her thoughts. She picked it up and glanced at the screen, trying to ignore the small flip her stomach did as she read the message.

_Castle home in 2 days._

She had entered it in her work calendar trying to convince herself that it was purely professional. She needed to know when he would be back so she could schedule their work days accordingly. She rolled her eyes at herself. Who was she kidding? It wasn't like they would have a case as soon as he got home. She was on desk duty for at least another two months so the most excitement he would see would be tagging along with Ryan and Esposito, undoubtedly leaving her at her desk, bored and alone. She tossed her phone unceremoniously on the bed beside the kimono box. She couldn't wait to be back in the detective saddle again.

Her phone rang at that moment making her jump a bit. The station.

"Beckett."

"Hey, Beckett, it's Ryan."

"What's up?"

"We got something."

Her heart leaped nervously. "What do you mean you got something?"

"We got a lead...but it's not really what you'd call a good one."

"Ryan, you're killing me. What do you have?"

She could sense his hesitation and figured between him and Esposito he must have drawn the short stick and had to call her.

"Look," he finally continued, "We've got evidence they've hired a new hit man. Gates wants you briefed and rather than have you come all the way back in I figured I'd just call."

She winced slightly at the mention of their new captain's name. Victoria Gates was not her favorite person right now and she was pretty sure the feeling was mutual.

"Wait, Ryan, how? I mean, nothing, for all this time, and then all of a sudden someone crawls out of the woodwork? That doesn't make sense!"

"I know, I know. That's why I-," she heard Esposito protesting in the background, "why _we_ wanted to call you before you heard it from someone else."

She remained quiet on her end of the line waiting for him to continue.

He didn't disappoint. "You know that protective detail she's had on you for the past few weeks?"

She had noticed but tried not to let it get to her. The new captain was not as free with information as Montgomery had been and Kate was slowly getting used to being kept out of the loop. She figured it had something to do with her lack of visitors lately, what with Castle being gone and the boys busy with their own cases again, that the captain wanted to make sure her people were taken care of. She wasn't a cruel person, after all.

"I mean, you had to have known, right?" Ryan continued, "With their hands always up by their faces and all the suspicious glancing around and the Crown Vics? Come on! Didn't anyone ever teach them how to-"

"_Ryan_!" It was time for a gentle nudge back on subject.

"Right, sorry. So, protective detail. Apparently, a few weeks ago, the feds called in with the bad news. No one knows who it is but the feds followed a paper trail suggesting Big Boss is sparing no expense looking for a new wing man."

She pinched the bridge of her nose in frustration. "Big Boss" as everyone called the ring leader was as elusive as ever. Rumor had it the feds had a name and access to some financials but nothing that directly tied him to Lockwood or the shooting at Montgomery's funeral. And, no surprise, the feds were being tight lipped on any names being tossed around, presumably to protect the people involved. Funny how Beckett didn't feel much safer _not_ knowing who he was. She had a sneaking suspicion that no one wanted her to know for fear she might do something "irrational". They were probably right about that.

"Ok," she started, "What do we have?"

"Not much, but something got the captain wound pretty tight after you left this afternoon. She even mentioned moving you to a secure location."

"Humph," Kate laughed dryly, "Where did she have in mind?"

"I don't know, but she said to have your stuff packed by tomorrow morning just in case."

Kate sighed, "Great."

"Sorry, Boss, just the messenger."

"I know, thanks Ryan. I'll see you guys tomorrow."

She ended the call and slowly sat down on the edge of the bed. She ran both hands through her hair and considered her options- or lack there of. It felt a little premature to be changing location when it seemed like the feds had so little to go on. Out of the loop, she reminded herself. This thing could be a lot bigger than she knew.

On that note, she pulled out a duffel bag from her closet and began tossing things in.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Not the best day ever.

A group of feds were already waiting for her when she arrived at the precinct that morning. Kate steeled herself. She was ready. Her duffel bag sat hidden in her trunk and she had already made up her mind not to put up a fight.

Gates spotted her immediately. "Beckett! Come on, we gotta move."

7:30 in the morning and already Kate was feeling a tad overwhelmed. She fleetingly wondered if it had anything to do with being partner-less and feeling more alone than she ever remembered feeling without him. The thought suddenly occurred to her that he would have no idea where she was when he arrived home tomorrow.

"Captain, where are they taking me?" She nodded towards the group of agents staring at her from the elevator. She suddenly felt like an injured antelope surrounded by hyenas.

Gates moved towards her, "Sorry, Beckett, you know the drill. The less you know the better." Gates began herding her towards the elevator and Kate quickly shot a slightly panicked look in Esposito's direction.

"No, you don't understand! My partner doesn't get back until tomorrow, how will he know how to find me?" She knew her words sounded pathetic as soon as they left her lips, but what could she say? Even the best panicked sometimes.

Kate stood a little straighter and crossed her arms in front of her chest.

Surprisingly, Gates' expression softened, "Look, Beckett, I know you've got this unconventional partnership going with Mr. Castle, and I know it's worked out for you- mostly- until now, but this is for his protection too. It's better if he doesn't know. I'll have Ryan and Esposito fill him in so he doesn't worry but only the feds will know your final location."

"You mean to tell me my own Captain isn't going to be privy to one of her detective's whereabouts?" Kate knew she was being insubordinate but she found she was caring less and less as the seconds ticked by.

It was now Gates' turn to stand a little taller and cross her arms. "I will be _privy_ to whatever the FBI feels is safe for me to know. Now move. That's an order."

The two women refused to break eye contact for several seconds before Beckett snapped to and remembered her position in the chain of command. She sighed in frustration and marched heavily but purposefully to the waiting agents.

Esposito nudged Ryan, "This is no good, Bro."

Ryan nodded.

"We need to follow them."

Ryan looked a little surprised, "Seriously? It's the FBI! They'll spot a tail from a mile away."

"We gotta try, man," he tilted his head toward Beckett as she was led out by the feds, "Think of everything she's been through and now they're gonna lock her up somewhere without friends or family? It's not fair and you know it. They're gonna do all they can to protect her physically, no doubt, but sometimes it's your head and heart that really need it."

Ryan nodded again, "You're right. Lets take the stairs so we can beat 'em down there."

Esposito grabbed the keys and he and his partner nonchalantly took the stairs.

* * *

><p>They drove for a long time. It would have been a bit more comfortable if she hadn't been trapped in the back of a standard issue fed mobile, complete with black tinted windows. The two agents holed up in the tail end of the SUV with her, Jensen and Masters, to their credit, tried to engage her in conversation, but Kate was fairly certain they were just trying to keep her from looking out the window trying to memorize the route to wherever they were taking her.<p>

She couldn't have anyway. This driver was tricky (probably Gates herself, Beckett thought bitterly) and Kate could have sworn they drove in one big circle for the first 2 hours. Talk about commitment. Add that to the pain the constant movement of the car inflicted to her still battered body and she had deemed herself pretty much useless.

She reached in her pocket out of habit to dig out her cell phone, not to call anyone in particular but just for something familiar, but when she looked down at her hand she was met with the friendly blue glow of the time screen on the temporary phone she'd been issued. Friendly or not, this phone was a stranger to her. No contacts or cheery ringtones, only useful as a line where the agents could reach her if need be. Her phone had been confiscated when they'd left New York.

They'd let her call her dad to let him know she'd be gone for a while. The worry in his voice so badly made her want to tell him where and why but she couldn't and by the end of the conversation (limited to five minutes by the watchful eyes surrounding her) she thought he at least understood it was for work and that she was alright. She hoped he understood.

She wanted to call Castle or send him a text but the agents made it clear she was to call family only and since they already knew her father was the only family she kept verbal contact with it was a battle lost before it started. Kate knew Castle would worry. She was pretty sure it was in his nature when it came to her and having no contact was definitely going to put him in a defiant mood.

Frustrated, hurting, and unsure how many more long hours she was to be stuck with the Bobbsey twins and their stiff suits she popped a pain pill and pillowed her head on her arm the best she could to try and sleep off the surrounding discomfort.

* * *

><p>"We've been tailing these guys for five hours!" Ryan grasped the lever to return his seat to an upright position.<p>

"I know, Bro, they must've really wanted to make sure she was far from the city." Esposito glanced at him and shook his head as Ryan struggled with the seat lever.

"Where are we?"

"We just crossed over into Maine. I doubt they're taking her out of the country so we're out of states. The secure location has got to be somewhere in the next couple of hours at most."

"It's gonna take us just as long to get back."

"Thanks, man, you should state the obvious more often."

Ryan shot daggers in Esposito's direction. "You know what I mean. At this rate, we're not gonna be back till tomorrow and neither one of us told the Captain we were leaving."

"Yeah, I know. I dropped a call in to Velasquez and let her know to spread the word that we were doing some field work that was gonna take us into tomorrow afternoon."

"Great. That means we're gonna have to come up with something to show for it."

"Hey, sorry, I guess I was just thinking that a friend of ours could use a little support. I wasn't really thinking too much about covering my own ass!" Esposito shot back.

Ryan regarded his partner and back peddled. "No, no, you're right, you're right. Hey next time they pull off for gas lets switch and I'll drive the rest of the way. We'll come up with something to tell the Captain tomorrow." They were both tightly wound and arguing right now would get them nowhere.

Esposito nodded. He had to admit he needed a break but for now he kept his eyes on the road ahead and the black SUV five cars in front of them.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Hi, again! Thank you all for the such supportive reviews! It totally motivated me to write another chapter this morning! Also, I proofread all my own stuff and I'm kind of anal about it. The problem is, after you've reread a chapter you've written for like, the fifth time, your brain starts to just sweep over the lines you've memorized. Point being: if you notice a typo or grammatically incorrect sentence (God forbid!) please, please let me know! I would really appreciate it! On with the story! -A

Chapter 3

"Ahhh, it's good to be home!" Castle turned the key releasing the dead bolt and nudged the door open with his foot. Alexis followed him, her large suitcase in tow.

"Ugh!" She sighed dramatically, "Longest. Flight. Ever." With that she let herself fall into the couch with as much grace as someone with severe jet lag could muster and glanced up to her counterpart who was fiddling with his phone...again.

"Did you ever get a hold of Detective Beckett, Dad?"

"Hmmm?" Castle was only half listening to his daughter as he took a seat beside her and put his phone back in his pocket with disappointment, "Why do you ask?"

Alexis tilted her head and smiled a little knowingly, "Oh, come on, Dad. We both know you've been trying to call her and let her know we came back a day early since the plane landed."

Castle regarded his daughter with pursed lips and half squinted eyes. _When did she become so perceptive? Since...always. _His brain answered back almost instantly.

He sighed in resignation, "No not yet. I've left her three voicemails and so far I got nothin'."

"Whoa. Three, Dad? Don't you think that might be a little excessive? Why don't you try texting her? Maybe she can't talk right now or something."

Castle bowed his head and looked up from under his lashes at her sheepishly, "Um. I've already sent her five, and that's not including the two I sent her before we boarded."

Alexis shook her head but retained a little half smile that seemed reserved only for her dad. "Wow. You've got it bad."

Castle stood and rounded to the kitchen flipping his hand dismissively. "I have no idea what you're talking about," he countered with feigned disbelief.

Alexis exhaled through her nose, clearly not buying it but too tired to argue.

"Well, I'm going to head upstairs and take a shower and sleep for the next month...or at least until Gram gets home. Leave me a note if you go somewhere?"

He always marveled at how quickly their roles as child and parent could switch back and forth so quickly.

"Okay, sweetie. Have a good sleep."

He paced between the kitchen and the living room as Alexis made her way upstairs trying to decide what to do first. He was tired but somewhere in the last hour he'd gotten a second wind that had his brain buzzing as if he'd had too much caffeine. He could try to call Beckett again, but no, Alexis was right, excessive, and if she was working he didn't want to bother her. He was anxious to see her though. He was dying to tell her about the authentic Japanese armor he bought, and show her all the pictures they had taken, and how Alexis had opened up to him about Ashley and how both of them wanted to "do things right" and finish school before they started really talking about a life together but that she really thought he might be "the one". He smiled to himself as he realized he had just really missed her. _OMG! She's totally my BFF!_ His sleep deprived brain mocked him as his own daughter would have.

He made it back to the couch and sat on the edge of it with his knee bouncing up and down. If Beckett were there he knew it would have instantly driven her crazy and she would have stilled it with her own hand by now. _Okay, that's it. I'm not going to just sit here pining for her all afternoon. _He glanced at his watch. A little after four. That meant she was either at the precinct or she had already gone home for the day assuming she was obeying her part time status. He knew better: precinct first.

He scribbled a note to Alexis telling her where he was going and left it on the kitchen counter. As he was heading out the door he felt his phone buzz in his pocket. _Oh, maybe Beckett_, he thought, quickly followed by, _seriously, did my heart really just skip a beat, seriously! _Maybe Alexis was right. He did have it bad. He pulled out his phone but Esposito's number was flashing on the screen. Oh well, he was secure enough in his masculinity to admit he missed his man friends too.

"Hey! Esposito! What is up, dude?" He didn't even try to hide the excitement in his tone.

"Hey, Castle. How's your trip going? I'm surprised you even answered. We didn't expect to get a hold of you till tomorrow."

Was that fatigue and mild tension in Esposito's voice? He decided to feel it out, "Actually, I'm home _now_. Alexis and I were tired and in desperate need of a real hamburger so we came home a day early. What's up?"

"Look, I don't want to ruin your first day back but, uh, something's goin' down."

Castle felt his stomach tighten but tried to tamp it down, "What do you mean?" He tried to keep it light, "Hey, and where's Beckett? I haven't been able to reach her."

"That _is _what I mean, Bro. Beckett's not in New York anymore. There's a new shooter on the loose and Captain Gates got her out of town in a hurry."

Now he really wasn't tired anymore, "Okay, well that's good, right? At least Gates is being proactive. How can I find her? Why isn't she answering her cell phone?"

"That's why we're calling. They wouldn't even tell _her_ where they were taking her. The feds took her phone and everything. Wouldn't let her talk to anyone except her dad, and my guess is they didn't let her tell him much."

Castle ran his free hand over his face, "Is she okay?"

"She's Beckett; she followed orders. But, Castle, she panicked a little, man."

"What do you mean _she panicked_?"

Castle could sense Esposito's hesitation but didn't understand it. He decided to prod a bit more. "Esposito?" Now it was his turn to hesitate. "I need to know."

"Look, it all happened real fast this morning but as they were dragging her out of the precinct she just kept telling them all that they didn't understand, that her partner was gone, and that you wouldn't know where to find her. It wasn't like her, Bro. She looked at me like she was begging me to do something, anything."

Castle knew silence was not the most helpful thing at the moment but he couldn't think of anything to say. His body was in action mode, not planning mode.

Esposito must have sensed his lack of coherent thought. "Castle, we didn't want her to be alone...so we followed them."

"You what?"

"We followed the feds to the secure location."

"Isn't that like, illegal or something?"

"Yeah, something like that. It's just...she's been through a lot, you know? Ryan and I just thought she might need friends who didn't dress in stiff suits."

"No, I mean, yeah, you're right. I just- thanks. She's lucky to have you guys."

Esposito laughed though there wasn't much humor in it. "Thanks, Bro. But you and I both know it's not Ryan and me she needs."


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Ahhh! Reviews are like my heroin! Actually, heroin might be a little dark...lets go with chocolate (can anyone name that interview?). :) Thank you for your continued support and, don't worry, Castle will be with Beckett soon enough! But what's a good story without a little tension and anticipation? I have to say to LittleLizzieZentara: totally made my day with your reviews! I love how into each chapter you get :) Thanks to everyone! Now, moving ahead...

Chapter 4

_She opened her eyes slowly. She felt weighted down, heavy as she tried to brave the fog that the drugs and sleep had induced. His face finally came into focus. He must have noticed her shift because he turned his attention from the television to her curled up position on the opposite end of the couch. She must have been out for over an hour. Whenever she remained in the same position for long her torso became stiff like a knotted muscle and she unsuccessfully stifled a small yelp as she unfolded and tried to stretch out. He was immediately up and over her, concern evident in his expression as he said nothing but gently took her legs, one at a time, and slowly helped her stretch them down the length of the couch. She grimaced and guarded against the pain but didn't try to hide it as his attentions were focused on his hands supporting her calf._

_The wave of discomfort subsided as it always did in these instances and she exhaled in relief._

_"You okay?"_

_She offered a tight lipped smile, "Yeah, Castle, thank you. You know how it's worse right when I wake up. I just get so stiff."_

_She expected some one liner in reference to her being an arthritic old lady but he simply smiled gently at her and rubbed the palm of his hand along the top of her foot. "Yeah, I know."_

_Wait, this wasn't right. He wasn't supposed to be sweet and understanding, he was supposed to diffuse the tension and awkwardness with inappropriate, Castle-flavored humor. Quick, change the subject!_

_"So, uh, did you finish the movie?" Good one, Beckett._

_"Oh, yeah, mostly. But we have to start it over anyway! This is one of her best films!" Well, at least the segue seemed to work. They had been making their way through all of Audrey Hepburn's films since he brought her home (well, to his home) from the hospital. _Roman Holiday_ was his favorite._

_"We don't have to, Castle. You've already seen the whole thing!"_

_"No, you don't understand! _Roman Holiday_ is a requirement in your healing process. It has been clinically proven to reduce pain and lift spirits."_

_She regarded him skeptically, "Well, I watched the first 45 minutes! Shouldn't that have helped a little?"_

_"Ah, see, you forgot to read the fine print. Its full efficacy can't be achieved unless paired with some 'Castle TLC'!"_

_He had taken his seat again on the other end of the couch and now opened himself by extending his arm towards her and raising his eyebrows a few times. _

_She looked as though her eyes were stuck in a permanent roll, "I don't think so, Castle." But she couldn't help the stubborn smile that kept betraying her lips._

_He gestured with his head, "Get over here, Beckett."_

_Guess he won that round. She shook her head a little and slowly and carefully began to inch her way towards him. Her eyes widened in surprise as he gently grasped her hips to help pull her to him._

_"My intentions are pure, remember?" He reminded as he let go after smoothly scooting her close, allowing her to fit herself along side him._

_She leaned her head into the crook his extended arm left against his chest. She tucked one arm half behind him but struggled with the position of the other one. It naturally wanted to fall across his chest but she wasn't sure she wanted to use him as her body pillow. He watched her arm hover over him for a few seconds, and how it jerked like a butterfly as she tried to decide where to let it land. He stilled her movements by taking her hand and pulling it down to his chest. Once he felt her hand relax he lessened his hold but kept his hand over hers. She could feel his warmth along her slender fingers. Too much.  
><em>

_She opened her mouth to stammer in protest but he cut her off, "Ah! Don't resist the 'Castle TLC'."_

_She smiled, he could have this one, and relaxed into him as he started the movie again. Her chest protested this new position with what was sure to be achy, persistent pain but she didn't dare move. This was the most comfortable she had been since having her mother hold her after a bad day. The black and white movie flitted across the flat screen as she listened to his heartbeat, felt herself move with his steady breathing, and she was so...grounded. She felt as his arm left the back of the couch and circled around her shoulders, his fingers whispering up and down her upper arm._

_Who needs the movie, she thought, this TLC is some powerful stuff. And she felt herself drift to sleep again._

* * *

><p>Her eyes fluttered open as her subconscious picked up the absence of movement from the SUV. She looked at her watch: a little after six. No wonder it seemed darker outside than it had been. She moved the arm that had been pillowing her head and tried to stretch. The small groan that escaped not only surprised her but Jensen and Masters as well.<p>

"Detective, you alright?" Masters.

"Uh, yeah. I don't do well on long drives right now," she added a little bitterly, "Where are we?"

"Rockland, Maine."

"Maine? Then why have we been on the road for almost 12 hours?"

"We wanted to make sure we shook any tails so we took a lot of detours. It would have taken some serious commitment from anyone who tried to follow." He seemed to forget his "men in black" air for a second as he fist bumped Jensen.

Beckett rolled her eyes. Rookie. "So where am I staying?"

Jensen cleared his throat. Why did feds have to be so awkward?

"Right up the street there." Masters gestured to a row of shops that had upstairs attached apartments. "The owner of the deli is retired FBI and he lets us use the apartment upstairs from time to time."

"When do we go up?" Kate was long overdue for some alone time.

"Just waiting for the all clear."

* * *

><p>Thirty minutes later, after the surrounding shops and their respective apartments had been swept and deemed safe, Kate found herself alone in her makeshift home at last.<p>

The owner had taken care of it nicely and it was adequately furnished with the basics: TV, couch, dinette. And the bedroom was actually a little cozy, especially when the incandescent lighting hit the red brick walls, bringing out a little warmth. The problem was, as cozy as the place appeared, nothing was familiar. Everything smelled foreign.

She sighed and sat on the bed with her suitcase. It was safe, and that's what mattered. She had a protective detail (Jensen and Masters) staying two apartments down from her and the Captain on speed dial, on a secure line of course, in case she needed anything.

She turned a bit and unzipped her luggage pulling out the silk robe she had hastily thrown in that morning. She ran her hands over it again and brought it up to her face to feel the smooth texture on her cheek. Breathing in she imagined she could smell just a little bit of him on it.

She could feel the pain in her chest starting to rear its ugly head again. Must be from the car ride. She dug in her purse and took another pain pill, chasing it with a glass of water. She supposed she should head out and get something for dinner but despite the lack of food she'd taken in the last 24 hours, she wasn't hungry. Instead, she laid down and curled herself around the silk.

She shook her head angrily when she felt the warm wetness brim and spill over onto her cheek. She couldn't tell if the tears falling in small rivulets were a result of pain or loneliness and, frankly, she didn't feel like defining them anyway.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Hey guys! I thought I would upload chapter 5 for ya but with a warning that there may not be an update tomorrow. I'm going on a short road trip and I don't think I'll have the opportunity to upload. Hang in there with me! This is a shorter one but it's intense! Castle will get there soon :)

Chapter 5

Straight thinking was not a priority right now. It was definitely more curvy and impulsive.

Ryan and Esposito had texted over the address of the secure location which, much to Castle's dismay, turned out to be in another state, and that meant he had to wait another slew of hours before he could see her.

But that was alright because she _needed _him, right? That's what Esposito had implied and he'd always had this sneaking suspicion that she liked him a little more than she let on, which was okay, because it made for witty banter and plenty of sexual innuendo. He suddenly wondered what she was doing right at that moment and if she had remembered to take her pain pills with her. He knew she still didn't do well in the car. There was that curvy thinking again. _Focus, Castle._

That was difficult right now. He thought about his daughter. Alexis had not been thrilled with the idea of him taking a long road trip alone so soon after they'd gotten back. He knew that despite the understanding and sympathetic front she so gracefully donned when it came to Kate she was worried. She'd had to watch as Kate was gunned down in front of her. Even for a seventeen year old he knew that was too much, especially when it could very easily have been him bleeding out in the grass.

Too much. How long would he be in this godforsaken car again? He wanted to see her now, to touch her with his fingertips and be assured that she was whole. According to his GPS (which he'd fondly named Cedric so he would have someone to thank when he was told to make a right turn) he would be in Rockland around one in the morning. He cranked up the radio. Anything to drown out his mind.

The car started ringing all around him and Castle instinctively answered on bluetooth.

"Castle."

"Castle? It's me!"

"Ryan? Is that you?" Stupid, lousy bluetooth reception.

"Castle? I don't know if you can hear me! But he found her!" Lots of static. "-didn't get much- Gates said the shooter- you've gotta be closer than us by now!- Get there!"

Was it possible to swallow your heart and lungs so that they were occupying the same space as your stomach? Castle was pretty sure it was possible. Throwing up was not an option. He was so close! He jammed the gas pedal all the way to the floor and sped up the coast leaving I-295 in the dust.

* * *

><p>Beckett woke to the light pattering of rain against the bedroom window. Where was she again? Oh yeah, not at home. She pushed herself off the bedspread, wincing slightly as her chest reminded her that it was still there, still injured. Like she could forget. At least the pill had knocked her out long enough to get some good shut eye. Her phone next to her on the bed glinted the time at a little after midnight. Had she cried herself to sleep? She couldn't even remember the last time she had done that.<p>

_Great, _she thought, _now my sleep cycle is going to be all screwed up._

Oh well. She didn't feel like she could go back to sleep so she padded her way to the kitchen and put the tea kettle on the stove, shrugging at her good luck when she found some mint tea stashed in the cupboard. She pulled out a mug and set it on the counter, waiting for the water to boil, and returned to the bedroom. Might as well make this place feel a little like home for the time being, and she began pulling out her clothes and placing them in the drawers of the antique dresser perpendicular to the side of the bed.

She pulled off her work clothes and on a pair of gray, drawstring, lounge pants and a white tank top. She could at least pretend like she was planning on going back to sleep. She put the last of her clothes in the top drawer, reserved for her pajamas and underwear (she hated the word "panties"- it always made her gag a little), but the slippery silk robe was elusive and floated to the ground, obviously not wanting to share a drawer with her other delicates. She grimaced at the thought of bending over but gave in and squatted to retrieve it.

She recognized the sound as soon as she heard it: the pop as it left the barrel and the echo as it's call bounced off surrounding buildings. The tinkling of shattered glass soon followed as the bullet coursed in her direction and the thick sound of splintering wood as it lodged itself in the top drawer of the dresser.

_Don't stand up, _she told herself and moved her arms from sheltering her head against any fallen debris to palms down on the floor, prepared to leap for her gun that was lying useless on her discarded slacks across the room. As she was about to spring forward another shot rang out, this time zipping in through the kitchen window, followed quickly by another that landed with a muted thud on the inside of her mattress. Okay, so no gun. She popped up with the speed of experience and plucked the phone off the bed, then stretched flat along the floor and rolled herself underneath the bed so she was lying on her stomach.

The tea kettle squealed in protest from the stove top as she pounded the speed dial on the phone. Not caring who answered she heard the line connect and yelled, "Shots fired, repeat, shots fired!" But her words were drowned out by the next shower of bullets that ate through the apartment, joining in song with the hissing kettle.

Instinctively, she dropped the phone and covered her head with her arms and hands, trying to block out the sickening sounds of the room collapsing around her. The robe was still lying in a pile on the floor just next to the bed, and for reasons she couldn't fathom at the moment she reached out a shaking hand to pull it towards her. She half buried her face in the material as one arm clutched it desperately to her while the other remained circled around her head. It was like this that she rode the wave and wondered how a small mortal could have angered the fates so terribly.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: Hey, guys! Thanks for all the continued reviews! Now, I had fully intended to have Castle and Beckett reunite in this chapter but the characters are kinda starting to write the story themselves so I think I'll just see where they take me! It will be soon though! And that much sweeter when they finally do come together...

Chapter 6

The street was a veritable fanfare of lights as Castle sped down the road, squealing his tires a bit as he rounded another bend. Red, blue, yellow, white, like a fireworks show or, to him, a beacon letting him know exactly where he needed to be.

He pulled to a screeching stop and his front two tires popped the curb in front of him. Like he cared. He would have driven straight through all the shops lining the street if he had thought it would have gotten him to her faster.

He was crazed and he knew it. Ryan's message was cryptic due to all the static and Castle still didn't know the severity of the situation. It didn't matter. If Ryan and Esposito said to drop everything and get there then it had to be bad. God, what if she was dead? What if all this had finally caught up to her? No, he couldn't - wouldn't - think like that. He didn't just drive six and a half damn hours to watch her wheeled out on a stretcher, just another victim without a face to file away in the collateral damage of her mother's murder. Maybe they would let him touch her, feel her cool hand in his own before they wheeled her away from him forever.

God, he hated being a writer at times. Talk about worst case scenario. It was like he had no control over it, magnified even, after seeing her blood caked on his hands...on her white gloves. Thinking about the stark contrast made the bile rise in his throat. He swallowed thickly but his mouth was so dry.

Barely remembering to kill the engine and yank the keys from the ignition, he slammed the door and sprinted towards the emergency vehicles that lined the street. He figured the black SUVs were fed mobiles but the road was packed with the town's police cars, two fire trucks, three ambulances, and an armored van. Keenly aware of his surroundings, he noticed the SWAT team currently making rounds on and in the building across the street from all the commotion.

He slowed as he approached the emergency vehicles, trying to feel out which people belonged to which groups. The cops were easy to pick out, same with the EMTs and firemen, and he could only assume the suits rolled with the same crowd as the guys with FBI marked on their kevlars.

_Okay, play it cool. For all they know you could be a villain._

A stretcher was being pushed out of one of the shops. _So much for playing it cool._

He ran towards the ambulance where it was headed; he couldn't help himself, "Kate? Kate!" One of the EMTs glanced at him but only for a moment, quickly turning her attention back to the patient on the stretcher. Castle drew closer. Was that blood? He pushed his way through.

"Sir, what are doing? You can't do that!"

Castle ignored the paramedic, "Kate?"

He pushed down the sheet but was not met with the face he expected. A man, a fed by the looks of it, with his ear bud hanging uselessly to the side of face, stared back at him. He could only stare for a short time as blood began gurgling up his throat and oozing out of his mouth.

"Sir, you need to get out of the way!" Castle was pushed aside as the emergency staff loaded the hemorrhaging man into the back of the ambulance. So much blood.

"Where is she?" Castle was frustrated at the weakness in his voice. But that's how he felt without her...weak...she was the one that made him want to be brave.

No one paid him any notice, all focused on the mess in front of them. Windows in at least four of the apartments he could see from the street were shattered, some still dropping their useless remains on the sidewalk below. The shops did not appear to have fared much better and everything seemed somehow enhanced in the reflected sheen of rain covering the ground.

Castle looked around, frustrated and starting to feel a bit hopeless. He didn't know which building she was in and his rapidly firing neurons would not allow him to make a rational decision. Two men in police uniforms exited the shop closest to him and a part of his brain not currently numbed by fear nudged him in that direction.

One foot in front of the other he slowly approached the shop's entrance, his earlier haste forgotten as he tried to prepare himself for what he might see. Broken glass crunched under his feet as he entered- what if she was cut? Her smooth complexion marred by angry shards. The man on the stretcher looked like he'd been shot...what if she? No, he couldn't go through that again.

He raised his head to pull in his surroundings; if he could focus on what was in front of him then maybe his doomsday imagination would shut up. It looked like a sandwich shop of sorts, a deli, maybe. A small hallway opened up to the right and he headed that way, moving slowly in the dark. The lights must have been blown out.

He entered the tiny space and immediately to the left a staircase invited him up to the second floor. He placed one foot on the first step and let it creek there for a few seconds, tilting his head up and to the side, listening.

There were voices, but they were muffled by the twist in the stairs.

"No sir, no sign of anyone. Yes. It looks like the shooter was on the roof across the street." More mumbling.

_Please say something about casualties!_

No such luck. He had no idea how he was going to talk his way into this. According to any of them he had no business even being there, especially as an anonymous person walking through a crime scene. Well, now or never.

He rounded the last bend in the staircase and came face to face with a group of law enforcement officers. They were packed near the entrance to the apartment so tightly he couldn't see past them. And, to make matters infinitely worse, he seemed to have forgotten his words.

He stammered for a moment and raised a finger in an effort to explain his presence but these guys were not messing around.

"Who are you." Well, that was kind of forceful don't you think? Why wasn't his tongue working again?

"I- I'm- Uh, here because..." Great, Castle, a wordsmith you are not right now. He pointed to his jacket and began to extract his wallet to show his ID.

Suddenly a voice somewhere in the back yelled, "GUN!"

"Wha-?" He confusion was cut short by about 1000 pounds of man as he felt himself crushed to the floor. He tried to yell, "Wallet, not gun!" but his chest was being slowly melded into the floor, expelling all his air. All his senses halted by the sounds of shifting fabric, the smell of sweat and adrenaline, the taste of blood in his mouth as he bit his tongue, and the feeling of slow suffocation.

_She must be dead,_ he thought, _at least I'll see her soon._ He could almost see the hero version of himself making a fist in the air and slowly bringing it back to his chest, feeling completely honorable and confident in his sacrifice.


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: Alright, people, this is it! Please don't hate me! I'll try to have chapter 8 up by tomorrow! Special thanks to IdaKnight and Nathan Fan for keeping up with me and reviewing almost every chapter! Somehow I know that if I start slipping you guys will be honest and pull me back! Thanks a bunch!

Chapter 7

The soft buzz of silence. That was all Kate could hear as she listened intensely from her cocoon of safety under the bed. Occasionally a piece of brick or other chunk of fallen building would interrupt, hitting the wooden floor with a sharp clunk.

Adrenaline still coursed through her system but she focused on her breathing; slow and regular, purposeful. It had been quiet for a good five minutes since the last bullet accosted the small room but she wasn't convinced it was over. Whoever it was could just be waiting for her to surface in his line of sight again before he released another torrent.

Her lungs seemed to be obeying her conscious efforts to control her breathing, which was a good sign, but her muscles remained tense and at the ready. She considered her options: no back up yet, and no sirens. Had anyone else heard the gunfire and called it in? The silence was eerie, too quiet. Maybe this was how it needed to be. Just her and whoever was at the other end of the rifle. She'd always had a feeling she would have to face her mother's death alone and if that meant having a one on one with this shooter then she would make her stand. Alone. Unarmed. And trapped under a bed. Okay, so she was at a bit of a disadvantage here.

She reached out the hand that wasn't still clutching her robe to her chest and retrieved the cell phone she had tossed to the side when she realized it would do her no good. At least now that it was quiet she could try calling Masters. He and Jensen were only two apartments down and she needed to make sure they were okay. No answer. What were these guys good for again?

She froze as her ears picked up a new sound. The stairs preparing to collapse? That would be fitting. No, that's not what it was. She closed her eyes and tilted her head relying only on her hearing for information. Footsteps. But it only sounded like one pair, not a stampede of agents tearing up the stairs to pull her out, but one man. She assumed it was a man. What if it was him? Coming to make sure he'd fulfilled his mission and she was dead.

The footsteps were on the stairs now; time to move. She rolled swiftly out from under the mattress and, keeping as low to the ground as she could slinked towards her gun, animal like. Without tearing her eyes from the front door to the apartment which she could see from the bedroom, she snaked an arm to the seat of the chair that contained her pants and gun, felt the cool leather of the holster, and pulled down bringing the weapon home to her hands.

The door handle jiggled from the outside and she quickly made her way to crouch beside the bedroom door giving her the angle of surprise she would need to get this guy. Footfalls in the kitchen now, slow, careful, so close. Was he waiting for her? Worried that his plan hadn't succeeded?

She slid around the door frame gracefully, like a dancer coming smoothly out of a turn, with her gun aimed dead center at the figure before her.

"Drop your weapon and put your hands up." She was surprised and slightly impressed at the calm firmness in her voice. _Yeah, _she thought, _that's the tone I was looking for._ The man had his back to her, scanning the room no doubt, but paused when he processed her command. She couldn't tell what he was wearing in the darkness but she could see the silhouette of the hand gun clasped in his right fingers.

She fixed her steely gaze, boring a hole into his back. "Turn around slowly."

"Detective Beckett?" That was not the voice of a killer. The black figure held up his hands holding his weapon by the handle with the safety on.

Kate, caught a bit off guard by the meekness of his tone, faltered a bit. "Identify yourself."

"It's Jensen."

"Jensen?"

"Of Jensen and Masters. I heard the gunfire and came to make sure you were okay."

She let out a sigh of relief. Of course, her protective detail.

"Where's Masters?" Somehow she felt like she knew Masters a little better. At least she'd heard him talk. Jensen seemed more the quiet type, there to do his duty, not to entertain. She could relate.

"He's been hit. I called it in, ambulance should be on the way."

She looked at him, shocked, "He's been...? And you left him? Let's go!" She began to make her way to the other apartment.

"Detective, I'm not sure that's such a good idea. We don't know if this psycho's still out there waiting to take another shot."

"Yeah, well, that's a risk we'll have to take. I'm not going to leave _your _partner bleeding out on the floor till the EMTs get here." And with that she was out the door and down the stairs cautiously but quickly moving to the agents' room.

* * *

><p>Jensen and Masters' apartment was set up just like hers with the living area directly across from the stove and refrigerator and the bedroom just down from the kitchen. As soon as Kate entered her eyes were immediately drawn to the man crumpled near the couch. He must have leaned over the back cushion to look out the window when he heard the first shot and took a hit, no wait, several, directly in the chest.<p>

She knelt beside him. This was a little different now that she knew a little of what he was feeling. "Hey, Masters. How you doin'?" She pulled a cushion down from the couch to put under his head.

He hitched and gurgled in what she assumed was an attempt at a breath. "It's okay," she reassured him, "you don't have to talk. Just try to stay awake, alright?"

It was dark but she could still tell where the wounds originated by the pulse of shiny thickness on the left side of his chest. "Masters? I've gotta put pressure on the wound. It might hurt a little but try to stay with me!" She buried her hands in the wet messiness of his shirt to try and stay the bleeding, unaware that her hair was falling over her shoulders and dipping into the redness like a paintbrush. "Come on, Masters! Keep your eyes open!"

She looked up at Jensen who was keeping his distance and had a bit of a nervous twist to his expression. Poor guy. Probably the first time he's seen it up close.

Kate could feel Masters' breathing shallow and quick against the pressure of her palms. "Come on, Masters! Stay with me!" That sounded so familiar. How did this happen that her position was now reversed and she was the one hovering over this person who had only tried to protect her, trying to keep his life inside him with her bare hands?

The wail of sirens and screeching of tires kept her from flashing back and remembering too much and she suddenly heard the stampede of agents she had been expecting earlier.

The SWAT team forcefully entered but calmed it down when Jensen finally stepped forward, "We're clear! Get the EMTs up here!". Why did it feel like this guy was moving in slow motion? Maybe she was just more revved up than he was.

Kate moved aside as the paramedics prepared to load Masters on the gurney. She wanted to touch her face but as she brought them close her nose deftly reminded her that she had someone else's blood all over them. She sat against the couch and attempted to recollect herself with her knees drawn up to her chest and her hands clasped in front of her so she would remember not to touch anything.

Jensen was already speaking with another agent and he gestured towards her once in a while. The two finally approached. "Detective Beckett? My name is Agent George Otero." He offered his hand to her but as she reached to take it she remembered the blood and settled for shrugging her shoulders apologetically. He clenched his hand to a fist and grimaced at the sight.

"How ya doin'"

How did he think? "Fine."

"You've got a hell of a lot of blood on you. You weren't hit, were you."

She suddenly realized she never checked but she didn't feel like she'd been hit, and that particular sensation was still very vivid in her mind. She did a quick catalogue. "No, it's Masters' blood."

Otero ran a hand down his face and nodded. "Well, we've got SWAT teams patrolling and securing the area and local PD is lending a hand so, uh, why don't we head back to your room and get your things together."

Yeah, she hadn't really thought of that. Moving again. Obviously they couldn't keep her here. "How did this guy find me?" She began to follow Otero and Jensen to her apartment not missing the slew of agents that trailed behind them.

"We aren't sure, to be honest. We were real careful about making sure we weren't followed...but we're working on it. What you need to worry about is getting your stuff so as soon as we receive the coordinates of the next secure location we can go."

She nodded. There were definitely a lot of things she wanted to say to this guy, but decided to pick her battles. So they'd screwed up, were outsmarted. He had way more important things to worry about than quelling her temper over being almost shot to death...again.

She went to the bathroom to wash her hands, then to find her duffel and began bunching things up and throwing them in. There were agents milling around throughout the entire apartment so it didn't appear that changing would be much of an option. Her eye caught the kimono that had been left on the floor when she ran to Masters' aid and she shook it out and slid both arms through, tying it in the front. There. At least it covered most of the blood on her tank and now it wouldn't be so obvious to the world that she wasn't wearing a bra.

"Has anyone seen my shoes?" They weren't where she thought she left them. Maybe they'd been damaged in the shooting. Oh well, barefoot it is.

When she finished packing she made her way to the front of the apartment to wait for further instructions. Otero seemed to spot her immediately and headed over. "Well, they've got Masters loaded up in the ambulance but it doesn't look good. If you hadn't tried to stop the bleeding he'd probably be dead already."

_No kidding_, she thought bitterly.

Otero was still babbling at her, probably trying to suck up a little and keep her in the loop but she wasn't listening. She actually felt like throwing a temper tantrum like a little kid. She didn't like these people, didn't trust them. And for some reason she felt homesick; like she'd been forced to leave her home and thrown into a new school where she didn't have any friends. Oh, wait, that _is _basically what happened, minus the school. She felt lost, and Kate Beckett never felt that way, or at least never let on that she did. God, Otero, shut up. She was sure he was probably a nice guy but right now she was needing some of that alone time again. Suddenly, Castle was at the forefront of her mind again. She'd been pushing him away every time she thought of him because it only made her feel more lonely that he wasn't around. She found herself selfishly wondering why they couldn't have just let him come with her, just so she could have _someone_ that she trusted, that she could confide in, that she...

A commotion near the front entrance tugged her out of her thoughts. It had grabbed Otero's interest as well and he put a palm to his weapon as he headed towards the commotion. Kate watched Otero for a moment before he suddenly shouted, "GUN!"

The surrounding agents reacted like they'd been ignited and threw themselves on the perpetrator, she assumed. She tried to make her way through the group of agents that were congregated at the door and saw a pile of men and suits pinning something on the floor. She craned her neck to see an arm emerge from the bottom of the pile, the hand grasping what appeared to be a wallet, followed by a head pushing its way through the limbs and torsos.

She would recognize that disheveled hair anywhere! She knew her hopes were soaring way too high but she couldn't help the happy ache her heart gave as she said his name..."Castle?"...


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: Castle to the rescue! Again, thanks for the reviews!

Chapter 8

Castle knew he was a little discombobulated at the moment but he could have sworn he heard her say his name. It made him stronger and he fought against the men pinning him down.

"Get _off_ me! It wasn't a gun and I'm _not_ the one you're looking for!"

Struggling only made the men grasp him more tightly, but he could see whom he assumed to be the fed ring leader turn to someone out of his sightline.

"You know this guy?"

And then he saw her, like Pocahontas emerging from the river mist. Whoa. He'd watched way too many Disney movies with Alexis when she was younger. He felt the air rush back into his lungs as his brain registered that she was, in fact, alive, not dead, not bleeding. Well, maybe not bleeding. No, that was definitely blood on her shirt- and caked in her hair! "Kate?" He wasn't sure if he was calling out her name in question or exclamation, all he knew was that he had traveled all this way to get to her and now he just wanted to make sure she was alright.

His keys were digging into his leg painfully and with some effort he jammed his hand into his pocket to get them out. Big mistake, he realized as one of the agents yelled, "GUN!" again and two more guys added themselves to the pile, flattening him to the floor again and expelling the air from his lungs in an "oomph". What, did they just throw that word around or something? Then he heard her.

"No, no, he's my partner!" She had moved forward and was trying to push the pile of suits away from him and tugging on his arm even though there was no way she could pull him out by herself.

Otero finally interjected, "It's okay, guys, let him up."

The agents moved away leaving Castle on his stomach still flat on the ground. Kate was crouched over him on the balls of her feet with her knees bent and he had to hyperextend his neck to meet her eyes.

"Hi." For lack of anything better to stay.

She broke eye contact for a second to shake her head at him and laugh out of her nose, but she smiled at him and answered back softly, "Hey."

He knew he was grinning like an idiot. They held each others eyes for longer than was necessary, as was their way, until she broke and lowered her lashes, as was hers. He looked at the vee of her tank top that wasn't hidden by the robe and brought his fingers up to pull the collar aside slightly, "Are you bleeding?"

"Oh," she looked down as if remembering what a mess she was, "It's not my blood."

His fingertips lingered a bit on the silk material lying over her clavicle, "I'm glad you liked the robe."

She met his eyes again, "Yeah. Thanks." Her voice was so soft, only for him, he thought, and was completely happy to remain on the floor gazing up at her like a puppy.

Otero nonchalantly cleared his throat and Kate broke out of their private conversation quickly, standing, pushing an invisible strand of hair behind her ear, and crossing her arms over her chest. Business Kate was back.

Castle did a quick check of his limbs and slowly stood. He was going to be sore tomorrow after wrestling with trained FBI agents. He gathered himself and moved close to Kate. Probably a little too close for her comfort in front of the other agents but he didn't care. He was in full protector mode and the only thing that could calm his wild man instincts was the warmth radiating from her body and the gentle tickle of her hair that had partially come loose from her haphazard bun and brushed against his chin and neck.

To his surprise she didn't move away from him but seemed to be drawing on his strength as she stood a little taller to discuss the next plan of action with Agent Otero. Then again, he did have quite the active imagination.

She spoke, "Agent Otero, this is my partner, Richard Castle." She gestured to him, "Castle, Agent Otero."

Castle shook the man's hand with a tight lipped smile. He really wanted to ask what the hell happened, but he somehow knew Kate didn't want him to. She was ready to move on and do what needed to be done from here.

Agent Otero regarded him, "How did you know where to find us?"

The last thing Castle wanted to do was rat out his boys. "What does it matter? The point is, if I found her, it must have been feasible for someone else to find her too! What are you guys doing to remedy _that_ situation?"

The back of Kate's hand came up to rest against his shoulder for a few seconds to quiet his anger and she turned her head to glance over her shoulder at him. "Castle." But it wasn't harsh at all, it was soft, understanding. She was being patient with him. He stood infinitesimally closer to her but remained quiet.

Kate took over. "So what's the plan?" Directed at Otero.

The guy looked stressed. "We're still trying to figure it out. We can't just move you 'cause for all we know, this guy could still be watching, so moot point."

"I can take her." The words left Castle's mouth before he could stop them.

Otero looked at her incredulously, "Is he serious?" Then to Castle, "I thought you weren't even a real cop!"

Castle had no hint of humor on his face, "No, but I have my own SUV and I can make us disappear for as long as you need us to. Here's my plan. You pretend to sneak Beckett out of here in one of your vehicles. Meanwhile, we'll disappear, calmly, and quietly into the night, leaving the villains to you while we hide away at my house in the Hamptons."

Otero looked dumbfounded. Kate interjected, "Um, words are kinda his thing." She shrugged her shoulders, "But I don't really see a better option, do you?"

Wait. Was she agreeing with him? She was agreeing to let him steal her and hide her away from these boogie men that were chasing her. This was not a side of Beckett he was used to. She was going to let him protect her. He tried not to look too eager and kept on his game face so the agent would know he was _not _messing around.

Otero matched his stare with his chest out for a moment but then put a hand behind his neck sighing, resigning. "Let me make a couple of calls." He turned from them, shaking his head.

Castle let out a breath he didn't realize he'd been holding as Kate angled towards him. He nodded to her, "You okay?"

She gave him a small, shaky smile, "Yeah, I'm starting to feel a little better." Again, with the eye contact. Like she was saying, "_You_ make me feel better, Richard Castle." Come on, Castle, get it together!

He so badly wanted to wrap her in a full, Castle-flavored hug and tell her it would all be okay. That he was here now and there was no way he would let anything happen to her. He knew it was an unreasonable promise but he was also sure he would die before allowing her to be hurt again. He also knew that touching her right now would violate her unwritten rule of solitude and make her feel even weaker in a situation that was already out of her control.

She reached an open hand to him and began lightly brushing off the lapels of his sport coat. "The floor got you dirty." On an average day he would have already fired off at least two euphemisms, but today he just smiled gratefully as she focused on his dusty jacket.

Otero approached again as he ended the call on his cell phone. "Okay, we're all set. Agent Lowry over there," he gestured to a woman with long brown hair pulled through the back of her FBI cap, "she's gonna be you. We're gonna load her up in one of the vehicles with about a dozen guys around her so if this guy's watching, he won't be able to tell she's a decoy."

He turned to Castle, "Mr. Castle, you and Detective Beckett will load up in your vehicle at the same time but wait a good twenty minutes before you depart. We want to give the shooter a chance to move away from this area and follow us before you start off."

Jensen stepped forward next to Otero, "Sir, we're ready when you are."

Otero nodded, mumbled something in his radio, and then turned back, "Jensen here is going to tail you guys."

Beckett began to shake her head but Otero cut her off before she could protest, "That's the deal, Detective. Now, we don't want to draw attention to you all but we'd be remiss if we didn't have at least one agent close by. Jensen will keep a low profile but at least he'll be near if you need him."

"Sir!" Another agent called Otero from the apartment entrance, "ready and waiting for your order."

The agents were huddled around "decoy Kate" and poised to move as soon as Otero gave word.

Otero gave one last look to Kate, "I don't like this. But, like you said, we don't really have any other options. I loaded my cell number into your contact list so you call if you need anything."

Kate nodded, "Thank you, sir."

With that, Otero raised an arm over his head gesturing to the front door, "Let's move!"


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: You guys are gonna laugh! After finishing up chapter 8 yesterday I was in such a bad mood! Then, I couldn't sleep on top of that later last night! I just decided, what the hey, I'll go ahead and get started on chapter 9. Well, I ended up finishing it last night and I felt so much better! Apparently I was in serious need of some Caskett as well! Thanks for reading! To Jayce Gish: I'll actually be addressing the Ryan and Esposito thing in the next chapter! Thanks for the reminder!

Chapter 9

The agents snapped to action quickly herding decoy Beckett out the door and down the stairs. Kate could feel Castle's hand at her back urging her to join the others so they could blend in and make it to his vehicle without being noticed.

Kate was tired. She could feel her conscious mind shutting down and automatic pilot taking over. Now that the adrenaline rush from the shooting had worn off her chest felt as though she'd been supporting an anvil all day. Even her legs were weak with fatigue and, at the moment, were refusing to obey her will to move forward.

_This is the last thing,_ she told herself, _just down the steps and into the car._

That seemed to work. She felt her feet shuffle along the wood floors with the help of Castle's insistent hand at her lower back. A sharp pain shot through her as she realized she remained barefoot amongst the scattering of broken glass.

"Ouch!" She hissed and stopped abruptly to pull the offending shard out of her heel.

Everyone was still moving like an electrical current buzzing along a wire. People were closing in behind her but she needed to get the glass out! Just one more second.

Before she could register what was happening she felt her feet leave the ground as her legs bent over Castle's arm, his other firmly securing her waist and torso against his body. Startled, she instinctively steadied herself by circling her arms around his neck, bringing their noses close to touching.

"Castle!" She cursed herself for being slightly breathless.

He flashed her a teasing grin but she couldn't miss the seriousness behind the smile. "No time for argument, Beckett." He was trying to lighten the mood, make it easier for her to accept his help and though she wouldn't tell him, she was grateful to relax her hurting body into the strength of his arms. Yeah, she definitely wouldn't tell him that, but she felt herself mold to him and secretly relished the way her legs dangled over his arm. He didn't require any help from her and she wasn't sure why that surprised her. She loosened her grip around his neck but kept her hands clasped behind him so she could maintain balance as he rounded the bend in the staircase...and maybe so she could feel the hair at the nape of his neck tease the backs of her hands...maybe.

He rushed her to his charcoal gray Audi Q7. He must have used the remote because the side door was already open and waiting for them. The back was empty of the bench seats and Kate remembered that Castle had removed them a time before he left on his trip so he and Alexis could pack it to the gills next time they went to the Hamptons. She wondered if this inopportune trip was what he had in mind.

"Castle! My bag! I left it upstairs!"

He was carefully setting her down on the carpeted floor of the car. "Nope, it's back here. The feds already loaded us up," he noticed her exasperated expression and added, "discreetly!" with a lilt to his voice.

"Okay, Castle, I think I can get it from here." He was beginning to stress her out just a bit with all the gentleness. "Go start the car!"

He obeyed, remotely shut the door, and rounded the car to the driver's seat. Hopping in he craned his neck to look at her as he started the car, "Did you remember to grab your pain pills? You've got to be sore from all the commotion today."

God, why did he have to be so damn sweet? "Yeah, I threw them in my bag."

"You should take one. I think there's an unopened bottle of water in the cup holder back there."

She wanted to refuse just on principle; she would take her meds when _she_ felt like she needed to! But, as the car rumbled to life and her body tightened in anticipation of movement she knew he was right. "Yeah, okay, I'll do that. You know that's gonna knock me out, right? I'll be completely boring and immune to your antics if I take this." She rummaged in her bag until she produced the prescription bottle.

Castle had yet to respond to her light teasing and she suddenly felt like it was her turn to lighten the mood. She took the pill and then came up to rest her elbows on the console between the two front seats. Bumping his shoulder with hers she startled him out of his intense gaze on the black SUVs ahead of them and he turned to look at her, eyes widened at her close proximity.

"Thank you."

She watched his quick inhalation.

"For what?"

"For coming to get me." She avoided eye contact and lowered her voice, "I didn't want to deal with that alone."

He didn't say anything and she shifted uncomfortably in the silence. Before she could retreat to the back of the car her hand was suddenly surrounded by his, the warmth of it surprisingly comforting despite the breach of such an intimate form of physical contact. She found herself unable to stop him as he brought her fingers to his lips and brushed them all too quickly across her knuckles. She mentally made a note to pick her jaw up off the floor.

"Always." Kate didn't miss the way the word was almost lost in the tightness in his throat and for the first time noticed the strain in his eyes, the hurt. She wanted to caress the side of his face with the hand he'd just kissed but she was a coward and settled for words.

"Castle, please-"

He cut her off, "Are you hurt, Kate? I mean, aside from the glass in your foot and the gunshot wound that's still trying to get better? What happened? Where are your shoes? Why is there blood in your clothes and hair?"

So much for using words. They were never her strong suit anyway. She turned her palm up and took his hand firmly in hers now to stop his incessant flow of inquiry. "I'm fine," she tried to sooth him, "The feds brought me here because they'd gotten word that Big Boss, or whatever you guys call him, had hired someone new to come after me. They tried to make me disappear but the shooter found me," she pulled her gaze down, but only for a short time and then met his eyes again, "but so did you."

His eyes were glassy with tears that threatened to brim over any second.

"Hey," she grasped his hand with both of hers and took her turn in resting his knuckles against her lips, "he didn't get me, I'm okay."

"Yeah, this time. But what about next time, Kate?" His breath hitched. "I just. I don't know if I can do that again, you know?"

She could tell he was trying not to cry, trying to be strong for her, but they had been through so much, and while much of it had brought them closer together the closeness had almost been a necessity. Two people attempting to work out a trauma and healing together, because they were all they had, and they both knew how close they'd come to losing half of their whole. Especially Castle.

"I know." She whispered it against his fingers and now felt herself welling up. See, this was why alone was better; nothing to bring to the surface. But her heart felt so full of him, so full it was hard to breathe because her lungs didn't have room to expand. And somehow this was better...better than being alone.

"I'm so sorry, Castle...I never meant to put you through this again...and I wish I could make you understand how much better it is having you here...I know it's selfish, but..."

"No, Kate, it isn't your fault. If anything it's mine; digging up your mother's case, putting you in danger..."

She shook her head but he kept going. They'd had that conversation before.

"I'm just...so glad nothing happened to you." He gave her a watery smile.

"Me too." She returned the smile with what she hoped was equal emotion. This wasn't easy for her but something inside her knew they both needed a sort of emotional catharsis right then.

Without saying anything more she released his hand and climbed over the center console to sit beside him in the front seat. She strapped herself in and, before she could second guess herself, threaded her fingers through his and cradled his hand in her lap.

He drew in a shaky breath but held fast to her, "Well, I think it's been about twenty minutes since everyone took off." And he began to ease the SUV with his free hand in the opposite direction the feds had gone.

She hadn't even noticed the cavalry had left; had been fully focused on the man beside her. Kate hated crying but she felt so good right now; his hand laced with hers and his presence so great in the small space it was almost palpable. Even with the drugs beginning to take effect and drowsiness settling in she felt so...grounded.


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: Sorry this one took a little longer to post. It wouldn't cooperate and it's really frickin' long (compared to the other chapters) but I just didn't want to split it up! More Caskett will ensue! Also, Lizzie, thanks for the glass reminder! I addressed it in this chapter! Thanks all! Please keep the reviews coming! They really make my day!

Chapter 10

Rick kept his eyes on the road ahead trying to fight the blur that kept creeping into his vision. Somewhere in the back of his mind he knew he was severely jet lagged and hadn't slept in over 24 hours.

He stole a glance to the passenger seat and smiled. Kate was out cold, her head leaning towards him, lips slightly parted, and his hand still tangled with both of hers. She looked peaceful, serene, but he knew she couldn't sleep for long in that position with her injury. He needed to find a hotel...now.

They had only been driving for about an hour. He figured that was enough space between them and the creep who was after Kate, unless the guy was tailing them right now...but that kind of thinking would get him nowhere.

They were coming up on Portland and he really was in no hurry to get to the Hamptons. The more they moved around the better, right? And he had loaded up on cash before he left New York, just in case, which meant they could pay for their room and not be traced. He figured Kate could probably use a shower too as he noticed the blood caked through her brown hair. He grimaced a little and thought he could definitely do without it being there.

He pulled off the highway in Portland and stopped at the first hotel he came to that didn't look too shabby.

"Hey, Kate?" He moved his hand a little in her lap and she stirred, making little wake up sounds that made his heart ache.

"Hmm?" She stretched an arm carefully over her head and opened bleary eyes to look at him.

"I think we should stop here for the rest of the night."

"Okay." Apparently drugged, sleepy Kate meant non-argumentative Kate as well.

"I have to see if they have any rooms available and check in so..."

She was nodding and shutting her eyes again at the same time, snuggling deeper into the car seat. Why he had the sudden urge to kiss her at that moment, he would never know.

He settled for nudging her hands that still held his captive, "Kate, I need you to come in with me."

He had to keep from chuckling as she jutted her bottom lip out. Kate Beckett was actually pouting at him. "Why? I can wait for you in the car."

He smiled at her, "I know you can but I'm not leaving you in here alone." He was slightly familiar with this side of her since she had stayed with him at the loft for two months after her surgery. Vicodin made her sleepy and whiny, but he kind of found it endearing.

He got out of the car and came around to her side, opening her door.

"Come on, Kate."

She took a deep breath and let it out in a sigh which he took as a good sign, that she was trying to clear her head. She struggled with the seat belt until he reached across her and undid it. He felt bad. She had only taken the pill a little over an hour ago and he hadn't allowed her enough time to sleep it off.

She regarded him for a moment and then grumbled, "I don't have any shoes, Castle."

At this point she was refusing to meet his eyes, clearly upset that she would have to rely on his chivalry once more.

Castle, on the other hand, simply tried not to laugh. He knew his eyes were dancing with humor as he readied himself to collect her, but he tried to contain it.

"We'll get you some new ones tomorrow, I promise."

She sighed again, this time he knew from irritation at her helplessness, and held her arms out to him expectantly.

The optimistic side of his brain kept screaming, _best day ever! _But he gathered her in his arms without flourish and said, "Just to the sidewalk. I won't embarrass you by parading your helplessness around the lobby." He couldn't help a small smirk and it earned him a mild backhand to the chest and a small grin. She hooked one arm around his neck and all he could think was that he needed to start working out instantly so he could be Kate Beckett's personal mode of transportation.

True to his word, he deposited her gently on the sidewalk but kept an arm snug around her waist as they walked in when he noticed the limp in her step, probably from the glass she'd stepped in earlier. He couldn't remember if she'd ever gotten it out.

There was a small social area with plush chairs across the walkway from reception and he saw that Kate was comfortably seated before he proceeded to the front desk.

"Hi, do you all have any rooms available?" He glanced back at Kate who had her foot propped up on one knee working any remnants of glass out of her heel. He would have to look at that later if she'd let him.

The receptionist looked over him a bit wearily, it was, after all, almost three in the morning.

He glanced at her name tag, "Miranda, nice to meet you," he figured he better assure her that he wasn't a creep, "my name is Rick," he hesitated, "Rogers," no real names, good idea, "and that lovely lady over in the chair is my wife," yep, Kate might hate him a little after this, "we just got into town and are exhausted! Is there anyway you'd be able to accommodate us for the night?"

Ah, success! Miranda's gaze softened a bit, "Hello, Mr. Rogers, welcome. Let me see what we've got available."

* * *

><p>Ten minutes later Castle had a room assignment and both of their duffel bags as he and Kate trudged to the elevators. The hotel was small with only four floors but it was in a quiet part of town with all the surrounding buildings being shorter than their room, less convenient for a shooter's perch, Castle thought.<p>

He'd opted for a one bedroom suite, not to take advantage of the situation, but because he still hadn't recovered from the incident earlier that night and frankly, he didn't want Kate out of his sight for even a second. He hadn't said anything regarding the room and she hadn't asked, just followed him trustingly.

They debarked the elevator as it dinged signaling their floor and Castle lead them to the end of the hall at a set of double doors.

Kate raised her eyebrows, "Wow, living it up Castle?"

He shrugged sheepishly and slipped the key card into the receptor. He entered with both duffels and flipped on the light with his elbow.

"Do you want to shower first?"

She had stopped at the entrance to the bedroom and was staring at the single king bed, inviting with all its pillows, crisp sheets, and down comforter. Yikes, he hoped she was too tired and out of it to put up a fight.

Just in case, "Look, Kate, I know what it looks like, but you can have the bed. I can sleep on the couch out in the living room."

She regarded him with a look he couldn't decipher, not disapproving, just...puzzling. She chewed on her thumbnail as she studied him and he found himself staring right back (he loved it when she did that).

Her response reminded him that they were talking, not ogling one another. "No, it's okay."

"But-I-you..."

She bit lightly on her index finger and smiled, "What's the matter, Castle? Afraid you can't handle the proximity?" And she disappeared into the bathroom leaving Castle slack jawed and speechless.

While she was in the shower he ordered some room service. He was so tired he wasn't really hungry but he knew her and figured she hadn't eaten since she'd left Manhattan. He paid, set the two burgers and garden salad on the coffee table, and decided he needed to drop a call to Esposito to let them know everything was okay.

He dug Kate's fed issued phone out of her purse (he felt a little sleazy but decided it would be safer to make calls from the non-traceable cell), and punched in Esposito's cell number.

"Hello?" Esposito's response was mumbled with sleep.

"Hey, Espo, it's Castle, sorry to wake you."

"No, man, s'okay, you guys alright?"

Castle could hear Lanie in the background, "Who is it, baby?" And then Javier's muted response, "It's Castle, babe, go back to sleep."

Then directed back at Castle, "What happened?"

"I'm not completely clear on that yet. I know there was a shooting- the guy came after Kate, shot an FBI agent."

"God. Is she okay? The Captain phoned us and said something about an incident with a shooter but we couldn't get much more out of her. You know how she is."

"Yeah, she's fine, didn't get hit. She's with me now. We've got one fed tailing us just in case but they wanted me to take her off the grid."

"Dude. You mean to tell me the feds thought she'd be safer with you? They must've been all outta ideas!"

The humor was not lost on Castle and he grinned into the phone, "Yeah, I hear ya. They didn't have any other options though. If they had taken Kate the shooter would have just continued to follow them." He put on his best Captain America voice, "They didn't know who they were dealing with when I walked in."

Esposito laughed, "Alright, man, you just be careful with our girl there."

All the humor suddenly dissipated, "Yeah, I will. You know you don't have to tell me."

"I know, Bro."

"You and Ryan make it home okay?"

"Yeah, we got in a few hours ago. I think the Captain called us as a courtesy- she didn't know we followed the feds, obviously, but by the time she called we were already back in the city. Figured you had to be close so we gave you a buzz to make you step on it a little harder."

"Yeah, well, it worked."

"I'm glad you got there, man."

"Me too. Go back to sleep. Hey, will you let Ryan know everything's fine for now?"

"Yeah, I'll call him in a few hours."

"Thanks. Tell Lanie I'm sorry for waking her."

"Not an issue, Bro."

"I'll call when I can, see ya."

"You guys be careful."

Castle hung up and waited for Kate to finish in the bathroom.

* * *

><p>He was hovering between consciousness and sleep when she emerged from the bathroom.<p>

"Castle?"

"Hmmm."

"Can you open your eyes for a second?"

He peeled them back slowly and was met with the most beautiful sight he'd ever seen. Apparently he became extremely cliche in his sleep since this had to be a dream. Kate Beckett stood at the foot of the bed wrapped only in a towel, the wet tendrils of her hair dropping rivulets of water down her arms and neck, her skin pink and fresh from the hot shower.

"Castle!"

Not a dream. "Yeah? Sorry."

"It's okay, I didn't mean to wake you, but, uh, my pajamas have blood all over them and I didn't want to wear jeans to bed..."

_Detective, if you don't want to sleep in jeans I am more than willing to let you sleep naked. _Probably not the best time to joke about her state of undress as he could tell she was already uncomfortable.

"Uh, yeah, hang on. I think I've got a t-shirt in here somewhere." He began digging through his bag and pulled out a navy blue, cotton tee. "Here. And here's a pair of clean boxers if they'll fit."

She pressed her lips together and the corners of her mouth turned up self consciously, "Thanks."

She disappeared behind the bathroom door and emerged a few minutes later wearing his shirt but holding his boxers in her hand. She tossed them to him, "Thanks, but they were too big. I think the shirt covers the important stuff though," she glanced down at her legs probably because he couldn't stop staring at them.

"Hey, Castle, you gonna be able to handle this?" But her smile was light and filled with humor.

He breathed a sigh of relief, "Detective, you are going to be the death of me."

"Hmmm. I hope so." There was that smile again. God, would she stop flirting? If she wasn't careful he would have to just kiss that delicious grin right off her face.

He settled for, "I ordered you a burger." Lame.

She didn't seem to notice. "Thanks. I'm starving, actually."

"You haven't eaten since day before yesterday." A statement, not a question. He knew her.

"No, I haven't been hungry."

"Come on, I'll eat with you."

They moved to the living room and sat next to each other on the couch as she self consciously pulled at the shirt to make sure she didn't flash him when she bent her legs (not that he would have minded). They ate their meals in relative silence, making eye contact here and there and smiling but not feeling like they needed to speak. This was one reason he loved being with her; that he could just _be _with her and not have to come up with something to say all the time.

When they were finished he broke the silence, "So, how about you let me take a look at your foot?"

She furrowed her brow, a slightly confused look in her eyes, but a smile playing on her mouth, "I didn't know you had a foot fetish, Castle."

He narrowed his eyes at her, "No, the glass, duh! I just want to make sure you got it all."

She grinned and popped one more miniature tomato in her mouth, readjusted so her back was propped on the arm of the couch and stuck her foot out, wiggling her toes.

He wasn't quite sure where all the playfulness was originating but he certainly wasn't going to call attention to it. Could she really have missed him that much? Their relationship had become a bit more relaxed when she was living with him but this new level of comfort they seemed to have achieved never failed to surprise him.

He squared himself to her and gently took her foot in his hands, supporting her ankle with one hand and running the thumb of his other down the side of her arch. He could have sworn she inhaled just a little more quickly than usual but when he looked at her she was concentrating on making sure her shirt didn't ride up too high.

He lifted her foot a little higher and studied her heel, running his thumb over it very softly just in case their was any lingering glass still imbedded there.

"Does that hurt," he looked up to meet her gaze. He'd never met anyone who could pack so many incomprehensible words into just a look.

She didn't break eye contact, "No."

He did, coward, "Well, I think you got all of it. Your heel's a little red though so be careful when you walk."

"Thanks, doctor."

"Hey," he put up his hands in mock self defense, "just looking out for you, Beckett!"

"Well, stop it! You're gonna give yourself a heart attack!"

"You have no idea." He mumbled softly, not sure if he wanted her to hear the comment or not.

She was staring at him again with a slightly amused glint in her eyes, "Hey, Castle?"

He found he was a bit powerless to look away, "Yeah?" Great, real manly, Castle, try being a little _more_ breathless next time.

"Can I have my foot back now?"

He realized he was still cradling it lovingly in one hand and softly stroking his other hand across the top. He stopped abruptly, "Yes," he placed it on the couch cushion, "...I'm sorry."

"Oh, don't worry about it. I'll just have to make sure Ryan and Esposito find out about your little fetish when we get back." She was smiling at him full on now.

"You better not! Or I'll tell them how I had to carry you down the stairs like a wounded princess because you spazzed out and stepped on a little piece of glass!"

She suddenly reached forward and grabbed his ear, but not as hard as she would have if they hadn't been joking, he knew. "Okay, okay, apples, apples!"

She smiled triumphantly and let go, glancing at the digital clock on the end table.

"It's four in the morning, Castle, don't you think we should try to get some sleep?"

He inhaled and stretched his arms over his head, "Yeah, I'm pretty exhausted."

She placed their used dishes outside the door and hung the "do not disturb" sign on the handle. He crawled into bed after brushing his teeth and let his eyes get accustomed to the darkness. He could hear the sounds of her in the bathroom, washing her hands, brushing her teeth, and he was struck by how easy it was to be domestic with her.

He closed his eyes in brief contentment when he felt the bed shift as she crawled in on her side. They both laid there in the silence for several long minutes until her voice broke the silence.

"Hey, Castle?"

"Still here, Beckett."

"Just checking." He could hear her smile.

"Castle?"

He chuckled, "Yeah?"

"Just...don't say anything, okay?"

He had no idea what she was talking about but slowly became aware as he felt her shift towards him. He held his breath as she fit herself along the length of his body and took his arm to wrap around her waist. Was she spooning with him? He let out the breath he was holding.

"Kate-"

"No, Castle, no talking, remember?"

He felt her relax against him as sleep drew ever closer. Her hair was damp against his chin, her body warm as it molded to the rest of him, and God she smelled good. That was fine. They didn't need to talk about it. He needed to feel her just as much as she needed to feel him.


	11. Chapter 11

A/N: So many reviews after chapter 10! Thank you! I think my heart popped with all the love! I'm not sure if I'll be able to post tomorrow (Sundays are busy for me) but I tried to make this chapter lengthy for ya! Let me know if you're all fluffed out and want me to get back to the story ;) Please keep the reviews coming! I love them! Also, I love when you guys try to anticipate what's going to happen! Makes me all a tingle! Love!

Chapter 11

Kate felt awareness slowly seep back in. Her eyes remained closed, not sure if she wanted to open them yet, and she idly wondered what time it was.

She felt good, which was...surprising based on the last 24 hours. She was suddenly quite aware at how secure she felt at this very moment; not lonely, or nervous, or (she hated to admit it) scared. She languidly opened her eyes without moving the rest of her body, not wanting to ruin this unusual feeling. Her head was still buried deep in her pillow and her whole body was warm and content. Maybe she wouldn't ever move, that would be fine with her.

She inhaled carefully, waiting for her chest to tighten in protest, but rather than feeling knotted on the inside she felt a slight restraint coming from outside her body. Awareness hit like a ton of bricks but she continued to remain still, now not wanting to wake the sleeping man next to her.

Her neck tingled every time he exhaled in his sleep as his breath whispered across her skin and she could feel his rib cage expand and relax against her back. His face was mashed up in her hair which, if she thought about it, really didn't surprise her; she knew he liked the way she smelled.

The clock read 8:15am which meant Castle had only gotten about four hours of sleep. Poor guy; jet lagged and exhausted and probably missing his own bed, but he still came for her. As usual, putting his own needs aside just as he'd done everyday since her surgery, and making sure she was completely taken care of.

She rolled over as smoothly and quietly as she could, without moving his arm from her waist, until she faced him, sliding her palm under her cheek to give her just a bit of height. He mumbled something completely unintelligible and tightened his hold around her a little. She smiled, not ignoring the small twinge of sadness in her heart as she slid closer to him, appeasing his subconscious so it wouldn't wake him up thinking she was gone.

As content as she was in this moment she couldn't fathom why it was that she could only look at him without worrying about lacing every comment with wit, or humor, or sarcasm when she knew he was asleep. Kate was no fool; she knew she had issues letting on how she was feeling. Expressing emotions was a luxury she couldn't afford after her mother died. She knew they didn't mean too, but she felt like the people around her always _expected _her to feel a certain way when it came to her mom. But none of them really understood and it became exhausting to try and be sad when she had moved past that to anger. Scary anger that made her intensely driven and focused, but isolated and mysterious. She smiled a little, knowing that this was what attracted Castle to her in the first place. Little did he know she considered this to be her greatest weakness.

She quietly lifted her hand but stopped herself and settled for chewing her thumbnail instead. She wanted to touch him, but this was not something she was good at. Wait. Kate Beckett always got what she wanted (even as she was giving herself the pep talk she knew it wasn't true). But why _not_ this? Why not this one thing? This one thing that made her feel not solitary or isolated, but kept by someone. Not alone in this world she'd constructed because he'd ignored the rules and road blocks and plowed ahead anyway, in the end just so she would know he wasn't going anywhere. And maybe, just maybe, she didn't need to be afraid of him- of this- anymore.

She focused her eyes in determination and extracted her thumb from between her teeth bringing her hand up to hover over his head. She could do this. It was only a touch of affection, after all. Nothing to be afraid of. Her hand still hung, unsure, above his unruly hair.

"You're creeping me out, Kate."

She startled so badly at his words she yanked her hand back and blushed a fierce red as she buried her face in her pillow. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to wake you up." Her voice came out muffled even to her own ears.

She could hear him chuckling through his sleepiness. "It's okay." She loved it when she could hear his smile. "I was just struck by the absurdity of all this; aren't you usually the one accusing me of staring?"

God, she wanted to die. She wouldn't look up from her pillow because that meant having to look at _him_ and, honestly, she didn't know what to say. She decided talking to the pillow was much easier, "I know, I'm sorry."

He was laughing again and she was close enough to feel it rumble in his chest. She peeped at him through one eye, keeping the rest of her face buried. "Shut up, Castle."

"No, no, here. Don't feel bad. Go back to what you were doing. See? My eyes are closed again."

She had to hand it to him. He did know how to lighten a moment better than anyone she knew. She sighed.

"Look," he continued with his eyes closed, "it's not that hard."

He cracked one eye open to find her hand and then shut it again just as quickly. Kate knew she was forgetting something, and she was pretty sure it was breathing, but she was too distracted to care and propped up on her elbow as he took her hand and lifted it towards him, eyes still closed.

He placed her hand lightly into his mess of hair and held it there for a moment, as if to let her catch up with him.

She finally found her voice, "Castle-" Wow. She really had no conviction right now.

"No, Beckett, you're ruining it! This is like therapy for you. Overcoming fears, Castle style!"

She kind of wanted to punch him, but, especially lately, he always seemed to know what she needed, even if she didn't.

"I won't open my eyes, don't worry." The promise sounded ridiculous even to her own ears but it did make her feel better.

He left her hand in his hair and pretended to go back to sleep, snuggling in his pillow.

Before she had complete control of her actions she found herself stroking his hair, running it through her fingers and then letting it fall back to his scalp. Okay, maybe this wasn't so bad. His hair was really soft in the morning, she realized, all the product must get worked out in his sleep.

She let herself play with his hair for several minutes before she decided she could be a little braver. Slowly, she let herself smooth her palm down the side of his face. She paused for a second, watching him for a reaction, but true to his word, he kept his eyes shut and his face still.

She was using her fingertips now to trace the contours of his face; the indents of his eyes, the sharpness of his nose, and the small cleft in his chin. He didn't move much but she felt him sigh a little and press into her touch just slightly. Her lips curved in an involuntary smile as her fingers scratched lightly over his morning stubble. She didn't know why she liked it, it just made him feel so real. She made herself at home tracing over his jawline again and again, but gently.

Her eyes were focused on the task at hand but when she finally adjusted them she was met with his soft, blue ones.

She stopped her hand, that familiar fear mixed with self consciousness creeping back in, "Hey, you promised."

"I know," he placed his palm over hers to keep her from pulling it away from his jaw.

The fear was subsiding again. She grinned at him and she could feel the blush climbing her cheeks. She angled her head forward so her hair would hide her face.

He grinned, "You know you don't have to hide from me."

She couldn't think of anything worth saying so she simply held his gaze and hoped that was enough. Of course she knew she didn't _have _to, but it was her nature.

He smiled that sweet, Castle smile again; she loved that he could be so happy in any given moment. It made her heart feel just a little bit lighter.

He reached for her, "Come here."

"Castle, if we get any closer we'll be occupying the same space and time which is an impossibility."

"Hmmm. That's the idea, but I love it when you talk in physics code. It's hot."

There was some of that comfort zone. She could have kissed him just for bringing it back.

He was still reaching for her, pulling her to him and rolling on his back so she could rest her head in that spot she liked so much where his arm met his chest. She couldn't help herself and snuggled into him unconsciously wrapping one leg around his to bring them even closer. Sometimes she wondered why she was so scared of this when it was so easy with him.

She felt him nuzzle her hair and drop a soft kiss on her head. "Mmmm. You smell like a pillow."

"Well you smell like you haven't showered since Japan." He wanted to play, that was just fine, she could do that.

She felt him shift as he tried to smell his own armpit. "Is it really that bad?"

She laughed against him, "No, not bad. You smell like...Castle."

"Ah, yes, can't resist my manly, rugged, Castle smell. You know, they're thinking of bottling my scent up and selling it as cologne."

"Who's 'they'?"

"You know, the...perfume...people."

She rolled her eyes and simultaneously buried her nose in his shirt, inhaling. She liked the way he smelled. Maybe it was pheromones, since she knew he hadn't showered in a while, but his t-shirt smelled like his laundry detergent mixed with a scent that was all his own.

She felt herself becoming sleepy again, "Remember we have to pick up shoes for me today," she mumbled into his shirt.

His eyes were closed again but he grinned and wrapped both arms around her. "Only if you're good."

Oh no. She could get used to this. She worried about the precinct, and the shooter, and Jensen, who was supposed to be tailing them somewhere, but Castle made everything more fun, relaxed. And he was dangerously close to filling her mind completely. She was technically running for her life right now but Castle, as usual, reminded her that life could be enjoyable even with all the negativity.

Well, that settled it then, she wasn't going to worry about what would happen later, she would just focus on the now...for now. And at that moment, she was wrapped in comfort, warmth, security, friendship, and...love. And that was the feeling she held on to as they drifted back to sleep.

* * *

><p>Castle groaned, stretched, and opened his eyes about three hours later. Kate had moved in her sleep and he was surprised (and pleased) to find her laying completely on top of him, head pillowed on his chest, arms thrown haphazardly over each side of him, and mussed, soft, air dried hair strewn over his t-shirt.<p>

He knew he was a sap but he couldn't remember the last time he'd been so happy, so content. Not since Alexis was born, he mused. He really wanted to stay in that spot for the rest of the day. Now he had two things on his list: to be Kate Beckett's personal mode of transportation _and _to be her sleep play thing- teddy bear, pillow, whatever, he didn't care.

Time to start being responsible, though, and man, did he need a shower. He carefully slid out from under her eliciting some sleep sounds from her that he loved so much, but otherwise she didn't stir so he grabbed her phone and crept into the bathroom, taking his leave.

Once he quietly clicked the door closed he searched for Jensen's number in the contact list and hit "send".

"Jensen."

"Hey, Jensen, it's Rick Castle, Detective Beckett's partner. Just wanted to check in, make sure everything was okay."

"Everything seems fine this morning. No unusual activity. Where's Beckett?"

"Oh, she's still sleeping. Rough night, you know?"

"Uh-huh." Was that a hit of disapproval he detected in Jensen's tone? Whatever.

"Look, we've got some errands to run this morning and then we'll be heading out. Anything you need?" He might as well try to be nice to the guy. Kate had mentioned he was kind of awkward.

"No, I don't need anything. Look, try not to play house too much longer, okay? We need to move out."

"Hey, Jensen, I don't know what you think is going on, but-"

"Mr. Castle? I don't need details. Just be ready to get on the road in a few hours."

Castle couldn't help the slightly sarcastic tone, "Yes, sir."

He didn't wait for Jensen to reply, just hung up. _That guy better be good at his job or something because his social skills are severely lacking._

He couldn't shake the irritated feeling Jensen left him with, but he tried to shrug it off as he started the shower and hopped in, ready to wash the previous day off of him.

* * *

><p>Kate sat on the bed reading a magazine as she waited for Castle to finish in the shower. She had stirred awake when she heard the squeak and steady stream of hot water and found herself bereft of Castle's warmth and sprawled out across the entire bed. Poor Castle. She hoped she allowed him to sleep without taking up too much of the bed; she had a bad habit of utilizing the whole mattress since she was so used to sleeping alone.<p>

She'd gotten up and done her hair, tamed some of the fly-aways with a curling iron and pulled it up in a loose ponytail at the nape of her neck so that it flowed down the center of her back in soft, wavy, curls. She didn't usually pull her hair back for work, but this wasn't exactly work and she didn't think Castle would care much. She hoped he was up for 24 hour Kate because she definitely didn't apply much make up either. She didn't really feel like she was trying to impress anyone while she was running from a killer, so there.

She had on a pair of straight leg jeans and a plum colored tank top and she still felt pretty good, surprisingly positive, considering. She glanced down at her bare feet and decided that shoes were definitely first on the list.

The smell of mens' shampoo and soap- Castle- drifted out from the bathroom as he emerged in jeans and a tucked in t-shirt (maroon was definitely his color) with a black belt. His hair was spiky and wet and why couldn't she shake the thought of running her fingers through it all over again?

She caught herself staring (and she was pretty sure he did too based on the knowing smile he tossed her way) and quickly pretended to engross herself in the magazine article again. Damn, he looked good casual.

He let it go, "You ready to go?"

"Yeah," she gestured to her naked feet, "shoes first?" Playing with him a little wasn't a crime, right? She bit down on her index finger and watched his eyes shoot to her mouth, "or was I not good enough for you." She recalled his earlier threat from the morning.

He looked as though he'd forgotten how to speak, and then recollected himself, "Yep, shoes first."

She hopped off the bed. She had to give him that one, he recovered nicely. She passed by him to gather her toiletries from the bathroom and shot a teasing grin his way.

He spun quickly and before she knew it her shoulders were trapped firmly beneath his hands as his fingers curled around her upper arms. This was new and she stood there looking at him like he'd grown a third eye.

"Shoes first, but I warn you, Detective." He brought his lips close to her ear as though he was going to tell her a secret, "If you stick that finger between your teeth one more time I will be forced to kiss that minx-y grin right off your face." He pulled back and smiled triumphantly, released her and exited the bedroom without so much as a backward glance.

Whoa. That was an air of confidence he didn't usually exhibit around her. She wasn't actually sure who had won that round. She had definitely gotten him with her innuendo, but she was finding it strangely hard to inhale and exhale at the moment...or close her mouth. Apparently all was fair game when hiding from some psycho. She took a few seconds to collect herself and then gathered her things from the bedroom.

This was a stalemate, but next time she'd be ready.


	12. Chapter 12

A/N: So, the little scene towards the end of the chapter? Yeah, total tribute to the awesome video that made Castle fandom explode yesterday! To Bones35: Thank you for the opinion; duly noted, and because you used the word "quibble", I used no parentheses in this chapter, though I can't promise I'll never use them again ;) Thank you so much for your continued reviews, please keep them coming! Also, I start school tomorrow so updates will not be as quick, but fear not, we will prevail! Also, I don't own Walmart. Or Castle, for that matter!

Chapter 12

Castle led as he and Kate made their way to check out at the reception desk. Castle had won the chivalry battle and was carrying both their bags as Kate glanced around the main lobby. He figured she had been too fatigued the night before to really notice.

She lagged behind as he stepped up to the counter, hands clasped casually behind her back, sunglasses propped on her head holding a few stray locks of hair out of her eyes, and her straight-leg jeans accenting her slender ankles as she pivoted on the balls of her feet taking in her surroundings. The morning sun shone through the large bay window looking to the outside.

Wow. He wanted to stare at her all day- the way the natural light accented the highlights in her hair, how she slowly turned on her toes with one knee bent and one hand to her mouth absently holding her thumbnail between her teeth. Maybe he would conveniently forget about shoes because without them she looked like a fairy. If he looked closely enough he could almost make out pointy ears disappearing into her hair. She could be so...cute.

Oops. With any luck, she would never find out he'd just used that adjective to describe her. He couldn't help it. She was always beautiful to him but when she thought no one was watching...just, wow.

"Um, can I help you, sir?" Crap, caught in the act. And he knew he probably had some brand of goofy grin plastered on his face.

He tried to ease it into a cordial smile, "Yes, we need to check out."

The young woman tapped on her keyboard, "And the name, sir?"

Kate casually came up beside him gifting him with an easy smile as she leaned her forearms on the counter.

He really needed to quit staring. "Uh...Rogers, it's under Rogers."

Kate noticed the name but only subtly raised her eyebrows at him.

"Very good, Mr. Rogers. It looks like you paid in cash last night for the room so all that's left is the room service charge. Did you and Mrs. Rogers enjoy your stay?"

He flicked a look at Kate whose eyebrows were raised even higher than before. Castle opened his mouth to explain, or respond, or...just say something! But words were failing once more as Kate smoothy slid next to him and linked an arm through his, placing her other hand on his bicep.

"Yes, everything was very nice. We don't get the chance to get away very often so this was a _special _treat." She responded for him easily but he didn't miss the purposeful squeeze of her fingers around his arm. Oh, boy. He was undoubtedly going to pay for this later.

He closed his mouth and tore his eyes away from her expectant ones.

"Well, Honey, are you going to pay her or just stand there all day?" God, was she talking again? Hearing her pretend like they were married was unfortunately turning him on in the worst way.

"No, of course." He dug for his wallet and paid for the room service from the night before.

"Thank you, come back and see us!" The young woman took his money.

He picked up the bags and turned to make sure Kate was still following him, then realized she hadn't ever let go of his arm. When he met her eyes she just smiled sweetly at him which somehow made him more nervous about being in trouble.

When they exited the front doors he tried to explain, "Sorry, Kate! I panicked last night when they asked for my name, and then they were looking at you like you were a barefoot lunatic so I was trying to gain us some credibility so they'd accept cash instead of a card so I just said you were my wife without thinking..." then much quieter, and if he had to admit it, a little pathetically, "don't be mad."

She was looking at him incredulously, "Geez, Castle! What kind of person do you think I am? You drive all the way to Rockland to make sure I wasn't shot to death and then sneak away with me on your dime- which the FBI will reimburse you for, I promise- and you think I'm going to be mad at you for pretending we're married so we can fly under the radar?"

Somehow he still felt as though he was being punished for something, "You sound kinda mad."

"Well," she sounded a little exasperated now, "I am mad at you. For thinking I'm a..." she flipped a hand in the air as she searched for the word, "...meanie."

Meanie? Shweeoo! So she wasn't totally mad. "That's okay, I kinda like my wives mean." He grinned at her and though she rolled her eyes, she returned it.

They had come to the edge of the sidewalk and he was about to tell her to wait there while he loaded the bags and brought the car to the curb so she wouldn't have to walk in the street but she was no longer beside him.

"Uh, Kate?" He knew he was panicking a little prematurely but, as much fun as he was having with her, he hadn't forgotten the reason for their little road trip, and he wanted her in sight at all times. "Kate?"

He suddenly felt her weight as she leaped from the curb onto his back, wrapping her legs around his hips and her arms around his neck and shoulders. He steadied himself from the change in balance, still holding a bag in each hand.

"Geez, Kate! You scared me!"

She laughed so near his ear he could feel her breath, "Take a chill pill, Castle! I thought hitching a ride this way would be faster!" She stretched out her legs on either side of him, "Can we _please_ get me shoes now? I'm starting to feel like I'm trying to make a statement about being 'one with the earth' or something."

Castle involuntarily gasped. Did her lips just brush his ear, because he could have sworn...

"Come on, Castle, get movin'! This isn't exactly comfortable!"

"Right." He began walking to the car with the two duffels in his hands and Kate on his back. When he stopped she slid down his back carefully, putting one foot on the ground at a time. He opened the back door.

"Wow, Castle, you're a smooth ride." She tossed a look over her shoulder and swayed her hips a bit as she walked to the passenger side.

Yep. She was going to kill him. He shook his head wondering how he was going to survive her.

Kate one. Castle zero.

* * *

><p>Castle drove them further into the city so Kate could shop for her shoes, even though she assured him that any would be fine just so long as she didn't have to go barefoot anymore.<p>

For some reason she thought it seemed like he felt obligated to show her a good time; like they were actually on vacation.

"Castle, we could have stopped at Walmart or something."

"No! Besides, my GPS found a small shoe store and it's always better to support local businesses."

"Alright, alright. I just don't want you to feel like we have to drive around for hours looking for a specific place."

He cast her a sideways glance, "Listen, Beckett, just because you always drive in New York does not mean that I'm incompetent! I know where we're going!" She could see the humor in the way his eyes crinkled and smiled without the help of his lips.

She smiled in return. Day number two and she was still happy he was here with her. Not that she was surprised. It was true he could be obnoxious at times but for the most part, she'd grown accustomed to his humor and comparatively easygoing attitude. As it was she kept forgetting they were currently in a dangerous situation with a fed following their every move. Oh yeah, Jensen.

"Hey Castle, do you have my phone? We should probably check in with Jensen."

"Oh yeah. I already did that this morning." He suddenly had lost a bit of the levity that was naturally present in his demeanor. "He said everything's fine. Nothing to worry about. He just wants to get back on the road in a couple of hours."

"Oh, well thanks for calling him."

"Sure. Don't really know what his hurry is in getting out of town though."

"Well, he's probably just trying to do things by the book, ya know? And now he's all by himself without his partner..." She trailed off. Oops. Too close to home. She looked out the window and cupped her chin in her hand.

"Hey." Castle's voice was soft beside her. "Maybe the other guy will be okay."

She shook her head, she knew better. "No, Castle, you should have seen him. Even by the time I got there he'd already lost so much blood. It kind of kills me that I can't call someone and ask how he's doing. Part of me doesn't want to know, I guess."

He pressed their palms together folding her fingers with his, "You did everything you could, completely disregarding your own safety, and I'm sure somehow he knows it."

Castle could have easily been talking about himself right then and she squeezed his hand a little and looked at his profile even as he focused on the road in front of him, "I know it." She said it quietly but he heard it and took his eyes from the road to look at her with a puzzled expression. She didn't offer anything else, just gave him a sad smile and turned her gaze back out the window.

* * *

><p>Castle pulled up and parallel parked along the street in front of the shops.<p>

"Ha! Victory! There's the shoe store!"

She smiled, "I'm impressed, _honey, _way to use the GPS." It had gotten a little heavy so she decided she'd try her hand at lightening the mood.

He grinned and rushed around her side to open her door and help her to the sidewalk.

"Gross." She made a face, "I'm so tired of my feet touching everything!"

He made a grandiose gesture with his arms to the door of the shop and opened it.

"Thank you."

Truth be told she was little nervous about shopping with him. This was something she usually did alone when she had some time on her hands; definitely not when she had someone waiting for her.

But, true to his form, Castle didn't seem to be bothered by any of it and followed her with enough distance between them so she didn't feel smothered. Occasionally he would hold up a ridiculous pair of bright purple heels or combat boots with skulls and crossbones on them but for the most part, he left her alone, almost as though he could tell if he made his presence any stronger it would make her uncomfortable.

"Hey, what size shoe do you wear?" His voice cut through her thoughts from the aisle over.

"Why, Castle? What makes you think I would tell?"

"I don't know, what if I'm tasked with getting you glass slippers one day and, agh!, I don't know your shoe size!"

"That seems highly improbable." But he'd been good today. "I'm a 9."

"Oh my God, you have gorilla feet!"

She eyed him over the multicolored shoe boxes separating them, "Shut it, Castle."

Attempting to be modest she chose a pair of black flip-flops and brown flats, both versatile and would get her through till she could get home. She placed them on the counter and remembered she couldn't pay with a card. Castle would have to pay. Ugh, how embarrassing. But he was already beside her with his wallet out dropping two more shoe boxes next to hers.

"Castle, what-"

"Ah! Don't ruin the surprise, Beckett! Just go with it." Then to the sales clerk, "This will be all."

Kate donned her flip-flops as Castle shut the trunk of the SUV.

"Hey?" She turned towards his words, "Wanna grab some ice cream? I think I saw a place a block down."

She shrugged. She was certainly not in a hurry, "I could eat ice cream."

He offered her his arm, which she took without hesitation, and they started down the sidewalk.

"Your hair looks good pulled back." That was random, but she'd bite.

"Uh, thanks. Just didn't feel like dealing with it today."

"Yeah, I figured. I just. You seem more relaxed...with me."

So, he was digging. "Relaxed, or maybe I just don't care about impressing you anymore. You're old news." She shrugged her shoulders flippantly.

"So what you're saying is, at one time you _were_ trying to impress me?" Of course that's what he would interpret from her teasing. Fine. Instead of responding she tossed him a flirtatious grin with her tongue between her teeth for a moment, complete with a little laugh at the end. Castle had stopped walking about four sidewalk segments ago and now just looked at her dumbly as she glanced over her shoulder.

"Coming, Castle?"

He hurried to catch up with her.

* * *

><p>They ate their ice cream sitting across from one another at an outside bistro table making small talk. Castle was saying something to her about Nikki Heat being in some sort of debacle he couldn't get her out of but she hadn't been listening because he had a smudge of cookies and cream right at the corner of his mouth that was driving her crazy. Wipe it off. Wipe it off.<p>

"So, what do you think?" Uh oh. Caught.

"About what?" Stupid.

"Ha! I knew you weren't listening! What are you staring at? Do I have a bug on my face?" He started wiping his hands across his face effectively missing the ice cream.

Before she could think about it she leaned in and used her thumb to wipe it away, leaving it there to linger just a bit too long as he froze beneath her touch.

"Sorry, you had a little..." she trailed off and gestured on her own face where the offending smear had been then, noticing his shallow breaths, grinned a bit evilly and stuck her thumb in her mouth, sucking away the ice cream.

"Mmmm. Yours is pretty good."

Castle still sat, dumbfounded. She loved when she could get him good.

"I would have given you some if you'd asked." Was all he said.

"Where's the fun in that?"

"Uh, good point?" It was more of a question then an agreement.

She laughed. "Should we get going, Jensen said a couple of hours."

Again, at the mention of Jensen Castle seemed to darken. "Whatever, that guy's kind of a jerk."

"Oh, yeah?" She wondered what had happened when they had talked this morning.

"Yeah, I don't know." He began worrying his napkin in his hands.

"Castle." She used her slightly firm tone to let him know she meant business. "What happened?"

"I don't know. He was just rude, I guess. Said something disapproving about how we were playing house instead of staying on task..." He meet her eyes sheepishly, almost like he thought he was in trouble.

She gestured to the empty ice cream bowls, "Well, I'd say he's right about that."

Castle's face fell a little.

"But," she continued, "you don't see me caring too much about it."

He suddenly lit up a little and smiled. God, he could be such a little kid sometimes.

"Look, Castle, he's just doing his job. We don't need him to be nice."

He pouted as she tossed their ice cream cups, "Yeah, but it'd be _nice_ if he was nice."

She suddenly had this amazing idea that could kill two birds with one stone: gain her a point against Castle _and _make Jensen extremely uncomfortable, if he was watching, which she assumed he was.

"What's the matter, Castle, you afraid Jensen doesn't approve of our marital bliss?" She shook her hair out of her ponytail so it flowed around her face. Crazily.

She sauntered towards him and purposefully stuck her index finger between her teeth.

Castle froze on the sidewalk. What was she doing? If he thought really hard he could remember some idle threat he had made at some point about doing something to her if she bit down on her damn finger again. What was it?

She was in front of him now, her hands roaming across his chest, and he actually found himself completely confused and leaning into her at the same time. She looked from under her lashes at him and palmed the side of his face, letting her fingers tease in his hair for just a moment before moving down to caress the outside of his ear finally settling her thumb and index finger on his earlobe, lightly squeezing.

She was _not_ breaking eye contact, and he was powerless to look away as he found a small bit of breath within him and forced out, "Wha-what are you doing?"

But her face was so close to his and she moved in as though she was about to kiss him but at the last minute moved her lips to the side and touched her cheek to his, only for an instant, and feather light, keeping her hand against his opposite cheek.

He forced himself to blink. Whatever this was...whatever. Brain wasn't working right now. Kate Beckett's hands all over him and face right next to his...yep, he was short circuiting and he knew it.

"Making Jensen see what a _good _time we're having posing as a married couple." Oh, yeah, he'd asked a question.

She pulled her hand back down and grasped his shoulder while inhaling purposefully to bring their chests flush and her nose mere millimeters from touching his.

"And we _are_ having a good time, aren't we?" Wow, she was so breathy. She began moving the tip of her nose against his in little Eskimo kisses like he used to give Alexis when she was small, but these were soooo much different. Her face was so close to his but he couldn't close his eyes, he just kept trying to focus on her as she smiled and gave a contented little sigh.

He found his voice again, "Are we?"

She pulled back and he found himself involuntarily following her lips with his, but she escaped, that same satisfied smile on her face, "I think so."

With that she pulled away and began walking back to the car.

_What the...?_ Was all his brain could think to say. She had killed him; dead. Teased him so much that his head and heart had exploded and now lay useless on the battlefield while the rest of him tried to scoop it up.

Kate two. Castle zero.

His feet finally obeyed him and he started after her. Oh, it's on.

* * *

><p>Sidelines. He loved the sidelines. There it was easiest to blend in. Let the players get comfortable in the game, careless. And they were getting careless. Her guard was always up, until now, suddenly, she was relaxed, at ease. She'd forgotten all about him...how smart he was. They thought they could run. He would have to remind them. He'd already dealt with the FBI, they were no longer a threat. The man who was now with her annoyed him. Made her stupid and silly with love. Yes, love. He could see it flowing out of them; in the way they walked next to each other, apart but always bumping back together, as if neither one could be far from the other for long, like magnets.<p>

It bothered him. This wasn't about love, it was about the job. But they hadn't known who they were dealing with when they hired him. He was a professional, yes, but he appreciated the human mind, especially when he could break it, and he could always break it.

He looked through the people milling around the street, happy. He watched as she glanced at him teasingly and when he caught up to her how she laced her fingers with his. He hoped she liked to be teased. She deserved it after what she'd just done to the man with her. Why did women always think that was okay? To tease a man. That was like playing with fire. But he liked her. She was smart, quick...that's why he'd missed her the first time...she had surprised him, acting intelligently, catlike under pressure.

But this man. He was her weakness. He made her smile, lose sight of the game. He would remedy that, but not yet. Not yet. Love made her stupid and would continue until he stopped it. Soon she would drop the ball, and when that happened...he'd be ready.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

Kate felt off center; emotionally imbalanced. She stared out of the passenger window as they drove on, absently counting the drops of water that accumulated on the window and then subtracting in her head as they combined to form bigger drops. The rain was beginning to fall a bit harder though, and it became too much of a hassle to count anymore. It was really just something to occupy her subconscious while she tried to think.

This morning? She couldn't lie to herself completely. The morning had been...sunlight, ice cream, funny shoes, touching, laughing. She smiled a lot. She remembered that. Why? She knew why but for some reason she was starting to question it. Question him? No. She was questioning her own motives.

She remembered what he'd said to her when she was bleeding away from him on the ground..."I love you, Kate." She brought a hand up to cover her mouth and closed her eyes momentarily. They had never talked about it and it constantly hung between them like a magnetic field holding them together but apart in one sphere.

When she was in the hospital and only his daughter could convince him to leave her side, if only for a short time, it was in his pained look as he was led out the door like he'd never see her again. She'd tried lying to herself but she knew those words were the reason she had gently told Josh that she wasn't his responsibility anymore; his hurt as she'd told him she was going home with Castle.

Home with Castle. Maybe that was her mistake. She'd gotten too comfortable and they had created a routine that exceeded the boundaries of the precinct. It was hard not to. He took such good care of her. Even through her current state of melancholy she recalled with fondness the way he would bring all her meals to her in bed on a tray, always with a single cut flower in a vase. She always wondered where he procured only one flower three times a day in New York City but never wanted to ruin the mystery by asking.

Then, when she was ready, he would order pizza and they would eat it in front of the TV. She'd sprawl across the couch and he'd be perfectly content to sit on the floor with his legs stretched under the coffee table, just happy she could come out of the bedroom. He'd given her her own room and even had her dad bring over some of her things, family pictures and the like, to make her feel at home. And she did. Achingly so. Maybe that was why she felt so alone without him now. She wasn't used to needing anyone anymore.

But even in the two months she lived with him they had only broken physical boundaries a handful of times. She thought of when he held her on the couch as she slept or on that particularly awful night when the pain in her chest was so bad she thought she might either shoot someone or just give up and collapse on the floor in a pile of tears and frustration.

She had paced the living room for about an hour; sitting on the couch, walking, perching on a bar stool, but nothing made her comfortable. Frustrated and exhausted she had lightly knocked on his door, surprised to find him still awake and working on something on his laptop. She hadn't known what she expected him to do and thought she probably looked pathetic in her oversized t-shirt and sweatpants but after completing a quick once-over he'd hopped up and helped her to his bed, laying her down and propping so many pillows around her she couldn't see her feet. She remembered how he'd said, _Now you try to sleep but if you need anything just say the word._ Though her chest still burned and ached she fell asleep to the sound of his tapping fingertips till morning. Of course, they never talked about it.

But this was different. She found herself initiating contact, craving his touch even as she teased him. She'd become so used to having him around all the time that when he'd left for a month she suddenly felt robbed of him and lonely.

She'd always liked being alone before. Not that she didn't enjoy it now, but being solitary had a new definition lately of reading alone in her room with Castle just outside the door waiting for whenever she was ready to come out and play again. She wondered when exactly that had happened.

And then there was right now. All morning she had played with and teased him mercilessly, and here he sat, quiet, unassuming, and letting her be completely self absorbed and pensive without including him. That was it, it had to be. He knew her. He knew what she needed before she did and half the time what she was thinking before she ever said the words.

But why did she suddenly want him under her hands. She found that she wanted to be on his mind always- was that where the teasing was coming from? To remind him of what he couldn't have? That wasn't fair and she didn't like manipulation unless she was doing it to a suspect.

_It's pretty simple, stupid._ Her mind taunted her with what it already knew.

_Just admit it, it'll be easier that way._

_You'll still be you, you'll just be with him too._

_Just say it, you'll feel better._

Now she was driving herself nuts. She put her head in her hands for a moment and then pushed her hair back. No more thinking right now.

"Do you need to stop?" There he was again, completely in tune with her body language, this time knowing she needed a distraction.

"No, I'm okay."

"You've been awfully quiet..." And then sometimes he pushed.

"I know. I've just been thinking, I guess."

He grinned mischievously, "Think we've lost Jensen yet?" And then sometimes he backed off.

"Probably not," she cracked a small smile, "I'm starting to think that guy's like a robot."

He nodded in agreement, "You sure you don't want to stop for food or something? We've still got like two more hours."

"No, unless you do. I'd rather just get there."

They had decided to just drive on through to Castle's house in the Hamptons to avoid stressing Jensen out. And because Kate just needed to feel like she was home for a while.

"Okay. I'm fine to keep driving."

"Hey, Castle?"

"Still here Beckett." She didn't know when that had become an inside joke between them.

She let the corners of her mouth turn up, "Thanks for this," she hoped he knew the gratitude was all inclusive.

"Always."

* * *

><p>They pulled up to the house a little before eleven that night. Kate had stayed awake in an attempt to keep Castle company but had fallen into her pensive state again leaving him softly humming to himself for the rest of the drive. She found she rather liked it.<p>

"Okay, so, I'm gonna get our bags and take them inside. You know, turn on a couple of lights and stuff. Stay in the car?"

He was still worried about her, "It's not like you have a gun, Castle. Don't you want me to go with you?"

"Nah. Unless this guy has ESP, I think we're good for now. Stay in the car?" He was trying so hard to make it seem like he wasn't asking permission. Not that she couldn't take him if she wanted to.

"Yeah, I guess I can do that. But hurry, I want to stretch my legs."

"Kay." He hopped out of the car and gathered their things.

A few minutes later the porch light flicked on illuminating the white trim around the door and on the railings. If she stared long enough she could make out the shine of moonlight on the calm water off the porch. This would do perfectly for an out-of-the-way getaway. She tapped her foot impatiently. What was taking him so long? It was still raining rather steadily so Kate pressed her temple against the window trying to get a better view of the house.

The sudden knock at the window caused her to whip her head in the opposite direction, scaring her away from the sound. Her breath came quick and shallow as she turned to discover the source: Castle stood outside the passenger door with an umbrella in one hand and his other raised in a frozen fist.

She opened the door irritated more at herself than Castle for being so jumpy.

"Castle! You scared me! Don't you know you're not supposed to sneak up on someone in the dark...when it's raining...when were hiding out from a psycho?"

Castle's knocking fist remained raised and he seemed contrite, "Sorry. I brought you an umbrella." He held it out innocently.

Kate rolled her eyes, "Thank you."

They crossed the threshold of the front entryway as Castle shook out the umbrella before collapsing it and placing it nose first in the holder by the door. Kate was surprised to find the beach house rather modest with muted gray furniture and heavy wooden tables. While the space itself was large and impressive, the decor was more simple, she assumed to give more attention to the natural beauty of the outdoors that, during the day, could be seen out the massive sliding windows leading out to the pool and beach.

She nodded her head slightly in approval of her surroundings.

"So the, uh, main room is upstairs to the left. It's the one with the balcony..." he was having a hard time judging what she wanted and she couldn't really blame him; she didn't even know. And that was why she needed to be smarter tonight. Put some distance between them, clear her head.

"Actually, you go ahead and take that one. I'll just take one of the rooms down here."

He looked puzzled. She needed to give him some other reason than, "I don't trust my emotions right now," "I don't trust myself around you right now." Yeah, they all sounded stupid and insecure.

"I just, you know, after being in the car all day...the stairs might be a little difficult, and I wouldn't want to keep you awake if I can't sleep..." Stop talking, Kate, now it's just suspicious.

"Okay. No, that's fine, whatever you need. You know where I'll be if you need me."

God, he looked so...disappointed. But no, this was for the best.

"Yeah, thanks, Castle. I'll um, see you in the morning." She grabbed her duffel and started for one of the downstairs rooms. That was harder than she thought.

She undressed and pulled on Castle's t-shirt again. She was fairly sure there was a washer and dryer somewhere in this house so at least she'd be able to wash the blood out of her pajamas. She used the bathroom just down the hall from her bedroom, scrubbed her face clean and brushed her teeth, then headed back and crawled into bed.

Castle must have called ahead and had his housekeeper put clean sheets on the bed. They smelled like vanilla and lavender and she snuggled down deeper, pulling the covers up to her chest and folding her arms on top.

She heard Castle rummaging around in the kitchen for a while and then his thudding footsteps as he ascended the stairs to the master bedroom. The rain continued to patter on the window pane and the wind had picked up causing the trees outside to rustle and cast barely visible shadows on the walls and ceiling.

This was good. She was used to being by herself, letting the sounds of the city lull her to sleep at night. There was no traffic here though and not much artificial light either. She laughed to herself at the backwardness of it all. Most people probably found it relaxing to listen to the sounds of nature but not her. She longed for the familiar city noises.

She absently played with her fingernail and stared at the shadows on the ceiling. She thought she'd been tired but sleep was eluding her tonight.

She felt guilty, and that, in turn, made her irritated with herself. She didn't have anything to feel guilty about; she wanted her own space and it's not like she and Castle were actually married. But he had looked so sad and subdued when she chose a different room from his. And what about that part of her that _wanted _to be with him. That part she pushed away because she had convinced herself it would be better to be apart for the night. She sighed in frustration and squeezed her eyes shut as if she could escape the thoughts that plagued her.

She loved him. Plain and simple. And she knew she had spent so much time trying to deny it, analyze it, weigh her options. What had he told her? _You could be happy, Kate. You deserve to be happy. But you're afraid._

She _was _afraid; of being let down, heartbroken. Royce's words suddenly settled on her mind like dust in sunlight. _Risking our hearts is why we're alive. The last thing you want to do is look back on your life and wonder...if only._

The covers were tossed aside before she'd even made the conscious decision to do so. Her feet swung over the side of the bed and touched the floor softly as she stood and made her way to the bedroom door.

The house was dark with the exception of a few night lights scattered throughout the main room. Just enough light to make it up the stairs. She started up as quietly as she could. The last thing she wanted to do was wake him just because she'd been suddenly enlightened. Not after she'd acted so selfishly today.

When she reached his door she stopped. This was it. If she walked in that room she wasn't going back. It wasn't fair to her and it wasn't fair to Castle to be caught on her line while she struggled with the choice of reeling him in or not. She rested her head on the cool wood. This was it. She could do this. This was right. She turned the knob.

"Kate? Are you okay?" Maybe he couldn't sleep either.

"Yeah," she whispered into the dark but then hesitated, "well, no, actually, not really."

She could hear him moving in the bed, "You don't have to get up."

She could make out the edges of the bed in the darkness and made her way to the side sliding her legs under the sheets.

He sounded confused, "What's wrong? Did you, uh, have a bad dream or something?"

She laughed through her nose, "No."

"Okay...I'm out, Kate, you gonna tell me?"

She was on her knees. She felt like maybe she needed to be sitting for this.

"I just. I guess I need to tell you something."

"I'm listening."

She pressed her lips together and let her hair slip forward to cover part of her face on each side. Even in the blackness it was comforting to her.

"First. I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"For keeping you so close this morning and last night, making you think we were okay, and then pushing you away this afternoon just because I was feeling insecure."

"Kate, it's not- "

She cut him off. "No, let me finish. This isn't easy for me and if you start talking I may just conveniently forget was I was going to say."

He remained quiet, patiently waiting for her to continue at her own pace.

She looked down at her hands and played with a lock of hair, twisting it around her finger. She was so grateful for the darkness.

"I love you."

He didn't respond for a few seconds, then, "What?"

"I love you. I'm in love with you." The second time she said them the words just seemed to tumble out of their own accord.

He exhaled, "You have no idea how long I've wanted to hear you say that."

She shrugged, "I know. I move...slowly."

He was beginning to shift towards her and her heart was doing this crazy little fluttering thing that made her feel like she was going to simultaneously have a heart attack and burst out laughing.

"Kate?"

She grinned, "Still here, Castle."

His return smile was audible, "I love you too."

God, now she wanted to cry? Too many emotions at once. She could feel her eyes beginning to brim over and yet she still felt blissfully happy.

But she was quiet, "I know."

He must have gotten on his knees sometime during the conversation because both his hands were suddenly, tenderly holding her face, his fingers threading through her hair. His face was close, "I might kiss you now."

Apparently her subconscious was more than okay with that as she felt her head tilt ever so slightly, "Okay."

It was barely a whisper but he must have heard it. His lips met hers slowly, gently, and she couldn't help the contented sigh that escaped as she leaned into him. Her hands came up and she raised on her knees so she could place them on his shoulders.

He pulled back just a fraction, "Wow."

She didn't really feel like talking anymore so she simply responded by bringing her lips to his again, moving them slowly and drawing it out as long as she possibly could before needing a breath again.

This time she was the one to pull back. She opened her eyes and examined his face in the darkness, enjoying that she couldn't see every detail and tracing over his features with her fingertips.

He hadn't promised to pretend to sleep this time but his eyes slipped shut anyway and she heard him sigh as she continued to explore his face by touch. She brought her own face close to his again, not in a kiss, but just touching. Letting her nose and lips brush his cheek, his chin, his nose, his forehead. It was her reminder that this was real; this is what mattered. She had been foolish to push it away before and she realized that now as he rose up on his own knees and wrapped both arms tightly around her waist, pulling her as close to him as was possible and searching for her lips with his.

She didn't disappoint him and tilted her head up to receive his unasked question. His hand came up and she could feel it alternately stroking her hair and cradling her skull as he painted her mouth with his.

She felt alive, energized, and giddy all at once, but also so relieved it was as though her body wanted to collapse on the bed in a heap of exhausted happiness. The kiss slowly became languid as she melted to him, almost as if both of them knew they had time and wanted to use every minute to savor each new emotion and sensation.

Heat spread on her lower back. He had found the edge of her t-shirt and it had granted him access to her bare skin without asking her permission. Without meaning to she murmured slightly into his mouth as she involuntarily responded to his touch.

His kisses became more fervent as his open mouth began to press into her neck. She knew she was breathless but she didn't care anymore. She wouldn't hide.

"Castle." Half whisper, half moan.

He came up instantly, bringing his hands up to thread through her waves and cup her face.

"I'm still here Beckett...barely."

She laughed and dropped her head, grateful for the bit of levity.

She held his gaze, "I...I want to do this but..."

"You don't have to explain, Kate." He kissed her temple, pulled her closer, hands resting on her hips.

She shook her head slightly but didn't break eye contact, "No, I do, I want to, it's just...tonight was a big step for me and..."

"You need some time to process," he smiled at her. So genuine. "Actually, I think we both do. And we have time now. We can go as slow as we- you- want."

She leaned in and kissed him again. Oh no, she could _definitely _get used to this. She brought a hand to his cheek, stroking her thumb along the soft skin there, "As slow as _we _want. Partners, remember?"

He pulled her back down to the sheets with him and whispered, "Yeah, partners."

They each made themselves comfortable, arms entwining, foreheads almost touching. She brought her leg up to rest on his hip.

He had one of her hands in his and was placing soft kisses to her palm.

"God, I love you."

She smiled at him, trying to pour all of herself out for him, "I know. Me too." Then a little lighter, "Do you even believe in God?"

He laughed, "It's an expression, Beckett. But, right now, it's hard not to."

"Mmmm." She was so sleepy all of a sudden and let her eyes slip shut.

"Good night, Kate." He was sliding his hand over her hair above her ear.

"Mmm, 'night."

"See you in the morning." He was so hopeful.

"I'll be here."

Using the leg wrapped around his hip as leverage she pulled herself a little closer.

She smiled as she suddenly realized the score was now even.

* * *

><p>AN: Omg! The love chapter. It's all these new Castle promos! They're just making me sappy! Anyway, thank you for hanging in there with me. Chapter 12 put me in a bad mood for a good 24 hours for some reason. Nathan fan: your review came at the perfect time! I was feeling super insecure about it, but after reading your message I felt way better. Thank you thank you. So also, I'm pathetic and check my email like every five minutes for new reviews so if you have the time to write up even a quick one, I would really appreciate it! Thanks for reading!


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

It was early, he could tell as the few trees outside had yet to sketch their outlines on the wall opposite the window. It was open slightly and the ocean could be heard soothing away the beach sand in the moonlight, encouraged along by the gentle breeze weaving through the mist that wasn't quite the full rain it had been earlier.

He loved it here. Truth be told, he felt more at home here than in the city. He preferred the quiet; how it worked with his words to create a perfect sentence, paragraph, chapter, story. Worked with him, but did it's best not to influence him too much with distracting ideas that really had nothing to do with the progression of the story. He liked when it was just him and his characters whispering softly in his ear, eagerly telling him what they would do next.

Derrick Storm was difficult; always wanted to go in one direction while Castle tried to force him in another. He smiled fondly in honor of his fallen hero. After the final installment of the series his fans desperately wanted to know why he had given Storm such a bitter ending and he found he was never really able to give a proper answer. Storm had become boring, predictable, but that wasn't really the reason. It was the interchange between author and character that was predictable and Castle found that no matter how he baited Storm, tried to harness him, keep him down, expose a flaw he always found his way out of trouble. Castle would find himself at the end of typing an entire scene, where he intended to have Storm brought down a few notches, only to have been taken over by the character himself to ensure Storm's triumph over every kind of evil, obstacle, or even love. If he was honest with himself, Castle knew that by killing Derrick Storm he was trying to squelch his own hubris that inevitably came out in Storm's every victory.

He didn't want to be _that_ man. The kind that had nothing to fear, nothing to lose, nothing to love.

Nikki was different. She was beautiful, smart, independent, but most importantly, she was flawed. She felt deeply and purely and put up defenses, only allowing him to write what she wanted on the page. _No, not that. They don't get to see that part of me yet._ She would always tell him when it was too much and he often found he had no argument against her. She would reveal herself to her audience in her own time, but not too quickly.

That was what made her extraordinary. The readers could relate to her. The way she struggled for independence but still longed for that deeper connection to another person. She was strong and guarded yet sympathetic and compassionate; layered...like an onion. She wrote herself. All he did was fill in the story in between.

He inhaled deeply the scent of ocean salt, rain kissed air, and Katherine Beckett. Perfect. True, she inspired the creation of Nikki Heat, but he had no idea the depths she would lend to her character. She unfolded the mysteries of herself to him just as carefully as Nikki had, if not more so. And even as he breathed her in and touched her skin, her hair, without hesitation or fear of rejection he knew this was big. Immense.

He smiled lovingly at her soft, sleeping form, hair falling in her face in funny, mussed waves, and gently pulled her close. He had a hard time deciding if he would rather stare at her in wonder or hold her as close as he desired. Now that he actually had the choice it was almost impossible to make.

She didn't wake as he moved both of them so he could tuck her head against the inside of his shoulder while she made slight mewing sounds in her sleep as a protest for being disturbed. He slid one arm under her pillow so it was propped against the headboard and the other he rested casually on her hip so if she moved he could make sure to go with her.

He took in her moonlit features once more before closing his eyes and wondered what Nikki would have to say about this new step they'd finally taken.

* * *

><p>He walked briskly in the cool night air, nice and casually. He always enjoyed strolls in the darkness and he inhaled deeply as he relished the extra confidence it lent him. This was such a pretty little beach lined neighborhood with its two to three story wood slatted houses complete with white porch railings and well manicured yards spanning far between each home.<p>

It must be nice to travel with a famous writer, but there was no bitterness in the thought as he turned to pass through the yard of one home so he could walk along the beach for a while. What a beautiful place to live.

It made him tingle a little. He loved stark contrasts; black to white, loud to sudden silence...beauty to tragedy. And this place was beautiful...and so was she. He decided it was safe to think on her for a bit, in the darkness, alone, the sea for company.

She was challenging, and he liked that. Overcoming something difficult made him stronger and fulfilling his desires so much more satisfying. He'd yet to meet a mark he couldn't take down, defeat. At first easy contracts did the trick and quelled that dark force inside. That part of himself that would never quiet unless he gave it what it wanted. Power.

He wasn't a fool. He knew it was getting harder and harder to still the voice within. The norm just didn't cut it anymore. It was so easy for him to avoid being caught, too easy. So, he'd purposefully began taking more risks, raising the stakes.

Well, he chuckled at the thought, he'd almost never been caught, but he didn't really count that one time. This man he had respect for, admiration even. The stalker had become the stalked in this instance and he'd instantly known this man was special. He had always worked alone in the past but he couldn't help feeling he had something to learn from this man who had so much power, persuasion, and stealth. But his new boss knew the conditions of his employment; he would play by his own rules, but get the job done without consequence.

He'd been even more confident of his decision when he was given his first assignment; his only assignment. And she made a beautiful target. True, she was physically striking but he'd never really been appreciative of the human form, more the human mind. And her's was gorgeous.

She was passionate, driven, focused, just like him. And he could always appreciate his own qualities in someone else. When he took their lives he could feel their strengths absorbing into his veins, pulsing through him and oh...the rush. And he wanted her; all her passion, carefully controlled anger, and intelligence waiting to be released for his taking.

He stopped and dug his toe a small divot in the beach sand, letting himself imagine for just a moment how it would feel when he snuffed out her light. The look she might give him as she registered his victory over her. He shut his eyes against the surge of pleasure that threatened to take him. Not yet. Patience.

On the other hand there was this other man, Richard Castle, who he just couldn't seem to shake. He suspected she would be unable to either, even if she'd wanted to. He was boyish and exuberant, which made his stomach turn in disgust. How could she want someone like that? Someone so opposite to her cool and protected exterior.

He was comforted that when he took her the author would be punished for disrespecting such a brilliant creature. He would make her understand how much he appreciated her first, so she would know that she was taken by someone worthy of her.

He turned from the ocean and raised his eyes to the balcony of the house in front of which he stood. The door and window were open, no doubt letting in the cool, briny breeze. He bet she was there with him, sleeping soundly, stupidly, thinking she was safe with him.

He took a last look and then started back in the direction he'd come from. He needed to prepare, so everything was ready. Soon.

* * *

><p>Castle was having trouble sleeping which he found odd since the want within had been satisfied not five hours earlier. He'd wanted this for so long and she had given it to him; that little part of herself that spoke volumes but that she kept hidden from almost everyone else...her love.<p>

He shifted carefully next to her. She slept peacefully still, her breath flowing deep and steady. He imagined a great weight had been lifted from her tonight and he more than understood the significance of that moment which had now become this moment. A continuous point of being for the two of them on which time had no effect.

Maybe that was why he was restless. The gravity of the situation had not escaped him, and though he'd known somehow that she loved him and just had to sort it out herself, he was still amazed. He was the luckiest man on earth.

He slowly slid off the bed and padded quietly to the open window, keeping hidden behind the thin curtains to protect his skin from becoming chilled in the night air. The sea remained calm and the waves only gently lapped against the tired shore.

He squinted into the dark. Was there someone down there? He felt himself immediately become protective of his space, his woman. What was that person doing right outside his house? Way to be a caveman. He took a deep breath. People were allowed to enjoy the beach at whatever time they wanted, and whoever the figure was just seemed to be enjoying the view along the waterline. Maybe they had trouble sleeping tonight as well. And Jensen was around, somewhere, to make sure no shifty characters came too close.

Suddenly the figure turned to face the balcony. Castle instinctively stepped to the side to avoid being seen. Man, whoever this was was nosy. Narrowing his field of view, Castle tried to follow the silhouette's gaze which was occluded by the night. Yep, just as he thought, kind of creepy. It looked as though the figure was trying to look straight through the open window.

Just admiring the house, maybe? Turn around, jackass. Hmmm. _ESP is underrated,_ was Castle's errant thought as the shadow did just that and started back down the beach, quickly fading into the darkness.

Castle shivered. _I am so weirded out right now._

"MmmmCastle?" His name was a sleepy mumble on her lips and he heard her shift to reach for him.

"I'm right here." He answered softly, but quickly so she wouldn't worry.

She sat up a little to see him and stretched. "What're you doin'? It's early."

God, he loved her. Being in his room, wondering where he was, why he'd deviated from the norm. It had been so long since someone had cared enough to..._care_ why he did the things he did. He smiled, "I couldn't sleep."

He shut the sliding door and windows, "Maybe I got a little cold." That wasn't the case but he knew she'd only tell him he was crazy if he told her some creepy, shadowy guy was looking at the house.

She gave a little half smile at him and held out her hand, "Well, come back to bed, I'll warm you up."

He gravitated towards her like a magnet. She pulled him down next to her and settled against him so fast it was like they'd been sleeping like this for years. She was heavy with sleep and already her eyes had closed again, content now that he was there. She had him so close, keeping her promise to warm him and he could feel the heat from her leg pressed to his, her arm around his waist, and her cheek against his chest. She'd even pulled her pillow down next to his side and her breath warmed his t-shirt over the pumping of his heart. He was absolutely sure it would pop at any second. So much love it hurt a little.

His mind finally quieted and he slept, dreaming of a shadowed figure sweeping in and covering Kate in darkness. But somehow he must have known it was a dream, and even in his sleep he could still sense her beside him. He made the decision to brave the dream, and didn't wake until sun peeked in through the window panes, chasing away the rain clouds temporarily.

Even when he woke he couldn't remember details; only the pain of loss that he quickly remedied by holding her as she freely stroked his hair in the morning light.

* * *

><p>AN: Gawh! I'm so sorry! That took forever! It absolutely sucks when school starts and suddenly you don't have as much time to sit on your butt and write till your heart's content! Also, admittedly, I can't pull myself away from Tumblr and all the Castle sneak peeks! Just kill me now with all the sadness and heart poppy moments! Ugh. Anyway, this is a bit of a filler chapter but I needed one to kinda introduce the bad guy a little more. Hope ya liked it! I will get to work on chapter 15 ASAP! I love your reviews! More! More!


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

Kate stepped out of the steamy bathroom and immediately her senses were overwhelmed with the smells and sounds of morning. The distinct aroma of coffee filtered through the bedroom door with an undercurrent of pancakes and bacon. Her stomach grumbled and she realized they hadn't eaten since lunch the day before. Castle must be on breakfast duty as she could pick up the sounds of clinking dishes and light commotion.

The familiarity of the moment made her stomach clench. Maybe it was the acoustics of the beach house holding similar resonance to the kitchen in the house where she'd grown up or perhaps the contentedness in her bones she didn't feel like placing a finger on this morning, but something about it strikingly reminded her of those Saturday mornings when her mother would wake earlier than everyone else and fix everything she could possibly think of for breakfast.

She hitched in a breath in an attempt to right herself. These few and far between domestic moments always took her by surprise since losing her mom and she had the sudden, nagging realization that avoiding them was probably why she was so adept at keeping people at arm's length for most of her adult life.

_Don't be such a coward_, she told herself, _Mom would want this for you. She would want you to be happy._

She ran fingers through her freshly blow-dried hair, donned white leggings, a loose, flowing, turquoise and white tank top cinched with a brown belt, and flip-flops, and left the safety of the bedroom.

The house was bright and cheery in the morning light. She rolled her eyes as she couldn't help but wonder if Pottery Barn had used it in one of their adds before. She scanned the room for Castle but only saw a plate of pancakes with butter and syrup on the side and two strips of bacon on the bar. She gravitated towards the cup of steaming hot coffee next to the plate and smiled. He must have heard the hair dryer turn off and knew she'd be out soon. She recognized his handwriting on the note he'd left on the counter.

_Good morning, Sunshine! I'm out back. Join me when you're ready?_

Someone was chipper this morning.

She ate a pancake and a strip of bacon while enjoying the quiet and reading the newspaper. When she was finished she warmed up her coffee and exited the back sliding door.

She had to make her way around the pool to locate the path to the beach and couldn't ignore the twinge of regret at not dropping everything and accepting his invitation to the Hamptons a year ago. She spotted him with his pants rolled up and his bare feet in the surf, toes teasing the surface of the water.

He looked up as she approached and smiled, "Hey!"

She smiled back, so easy, "Hey. What are you doing?"

"Oh, you know, just enjoying the water a little. Good call on bringing the coffee," he indicated to the mug she clasped in her hands, "the rain really cooled things off last night."

She shrugged, "Hmm, yeah, I guess it is kinda cool." She regarded him for a moment as he stepped out of the water to join her in the dry sand, "Want some?" She held the mug out to him.

He stared at her with a confused expression.

She shifted uncomfortably, "What?"

"Nothing, you just- you've never offered to share your coffee with me before. I took your mug once, by accident- I'd gotten yours and mine confused- and Esposito acted like I'd broken a commandment or something! It's like an unwritten rule between the boys and me never to disturb you if you haven't had coffee and absolutely, under no circumstance do we ever touch Beckett coffee."

She laughed, "Yeah, well, that's probably wise, but I'll make an exception. Just don't go telling Ryan and Esposito that I shared with you or they'll think they have special privileges too."

He took the cup from her hands, "So...I have special privileges?"

She bumped him with her shoulder, "Keep it up, Castle, and I might have to revoke them."

He grinned and sipped the warm heaven she offered, "Mmmm. Still warm. I think you and I have a problem, Beckett. We need to find a coffee-drinker's anonymous meeting somewhere in town."

"I'm fine with my addiction, Mr. Castle, but you can do whatever you want!" She missed the warm ceramic against her palms and crossed her arms in front of her. It wasn't terribly cold but in the mornings she guessed the temperature hovered around 60 or so.

Castle didn't miss a beat and swung his arm over her shoulders, setting the warm cup back in her hands. He pulled her close and she leaned into his side eagerly absorbing the body warmth he offered.

"Wanna walk down the beach a bit?"

She was dying to get her muscles warm and moving, "Sure."

Castle replaced the sandals he'd previously kicked off and then bounded back to her side. She smiled at him, then moving her coffee mug to one hand, slipped the other in his, entwining their fingers as they walked.

He smiled giddily and didn't seem to care if she saw it or not. Kate marveled at how easy it was to make him happy; she almost felt guilty about it.

"So, Kate, why now?" The sudden seriousness surprised her.

Oh, apparently they were going to talk about this right now. She was suddenly wishing she hadn't grabbed his hand so freely; it left her wide open.

She bit her lip and dropped his fingers to tuck a windblown strand behind her ear. He plucked it back up as soon as she finished. He wasn't going to let her close up, that much was clear.

He brought the soft skin on the back of her hand to his lips, encouraging her to answer the question.

She took a deep breath...and stalled, "What do you mean?"

He was watching their feet make little indents in the damp sand. "Well, last time we talked about this," he gestured to their clasped hands, "I thought we had decided to wait...until you got some closure and we could work through this."

He must be talking about her mother. As usual that awful event hung between them like unsaid words left to fester. And, he was right. They had discussed _this _before, when he brought her to his place from the hospital. But four months ago it wasn't right. He was desperate, and so was she, both reeling from her near death and both needing each other more than she ever remembered needing anyone else before.

And that was why she'd backed off. And he'd waited. Kate didn't like to be directed by her emotions and, especially in the months following the shooting, feared that her logical mind had been completely taken over by impulse and need.

She met his eyes pleadingly. She didn't want to talk about this now, "Castle..."

"Kate, I know it's hard but I need to make sure we're making the right move here. You know how I feel, and I'm ready for this and everything it entails, but I need to make sure you are too."

His eyes were pleading and she knew it wasn't fair to keep him imbalanced, worried that she would run at the first opportunity.

Another deep breath, "Things are different now- _I'm_ different."

"How? We haven't solved your mother's case, we're both still...emotionally raw because of everything that's happened- and don't get me wrong, I want this- but I don't feel like anything is different. It feels like I left the country and came back and you and I are still...you and I." He hesitated before continuing, "I still worry about you, Kate. I'm always worried. Scared that someone will take you away again."

They had stopped walking and Castle stared at his feet. She studied him intently, knowing that honesty had always been their ally and the opposite had made them both miserable. She bit her bottom lip and worried it between her teeth as she brought her hand up to trace her fingers along his jaw, easing her thumb over the worried line of his mouth.

His eyes met hers and she spoke, "You're right- about some of it. Before, I was...scared, I guess." She fought back the sudden tears that had surprisingly moistened her eyes, "Those bastards who killed my Mom almost won, Castle. They almost beat me, and afterwards, I just felt so helpless. I felt like maybe I'd gotten distracted with my relationship with you, and it made me too...soft."

"Needing someone doesn't make you weak, Kate. The relationships in our lives make us stronger; give us that extra boost to handle things we never thought we could on our own."

She nodded, lip between her teeth again, "I think that's why I'm different now. I realize that you make me strong, and I do the same for you, and there are risks, but I'm ready to take them, because ignoring what we have is stupid. I don't want to do that anymore." She swept her open palm through the air indicating her commitment to the words. She always started talking too fast when she was nervous or passionate.

But Castle was smiling at her like he'd kept up perfectly and leaned down to brush his lips with hers. She responded instantly, the giddy girl inside her swearing that she could kiss him forever. She wrapped her arms around his neck and surrendered. When he was finished silencing her he rested his forehead against hers, "Your argument is irrefutable, Detective."

They stood like this for a moment, enjoying the solidness of one another and listening to the soothing, white noise of the waves crashing lightly and then retreating on the beach.

"Are you ready to head back?"

She looked up and realized they had actually walked quite a distance from Castle's home and were now several widely spaced houses down.

"Mmmhmm. I didn't think we'd come this far."

Castle, ever the king of double meaning and entendre, smiled, "I knew we'd get here eventually. Or maybe I just hoped _really_ hard!"

She elbowed his arm lightly as they turned back, "That's not what I meant. I was talking about _distance_."

His laughter tugged a grin from her lips, "I know, I just couldn't let such a sappy, romantic set up pass me by!"

She allowed him to join their hands again as they strolled easily back down the waterline, sipping her coffee which had cooled considerably in the morning air.

"You know, Castle, we probably shouldn't be out like this. We still need to keep on the down low and don't your neighbors know you?"

He shrugged, "Yeah, but it doesn't look like any of them are in town right now anyway, with school starting for the kids and all."

She nodded in satisfaction, "Even still, we should probably be a little more careful and not make out on the beach in front of someone else's house."

He scoffed, "Ha! Is that what you call making out? 'Cause I'm pretty sure chaste kissing doesn't qualify."

She rolled her eyes, "Oh, please, Castle, I'm not even convinced you could handle an all out make out session with me." She topped off the phrase with a teasing look.

He stopped, dead serious, "I would be happy to do an experiment to find out."

She tugged his hand, "Come on, Bill Nye, no experiments when Jensen's probably lurking around. Talk about convincing him we're not taking this seriously, I think that would do it."

Castle sighed, defeated, "You're probably right. Man, that guy's good though! There aren't very many places to hide on a beach!"

She shrugged, "That's what they hired him for," she laughed at her own joke before sharing, "Stealth is his middle name!"

Castle looked at her with mock disappointment, "Lame, Beckett. I expected better from you."

"Yeah, well, you'll just have to take what you can get."

He released her hand and slipped it around her waist, pulling her in to place a kiss into her hair, "I'll take it."

"Richard? Richard Castle? You stop right there!"

Castle's head shot up at the mention of his first name and Kate followed suit tracking his gaze to a top heavy, bleach blonde woman in high heels, picking her way down the sandy hill from the deck of the house they were passing.

Castle turned to her, speaking quickly between his teeth, "Oh no. Kate, I am _so _sorry!"

Kate's eyes widened at Castle's obvious dislike for the woman coming towards them, "Who is that?"

"Ugh. She's my neighbor, Maggie Sullivan. She and her husband, Neil, own that house up there. She's insufferable..." He turned with practiced ease just as Maggie reached them, "Why, Maggie Sullivan, what a pleasant surprise!"

She squealed as though they were long lost friends who hadn't seen each other in ages, "Oh, Richard! So good to see you!" She kissed both his cheeks completely ignoring Kate's movement to make room for her next to Castle. Rude.

She continued, completely unaware, "Why didn't you tell me you were here? Oh, we have so much to catch up on! How's Alexis? Is she here?"

Kate couldn't help but enjoy Castle's uncomfortableness with this woman as he stammered, "Oh, she's fine. Not here though, she starts school next week."

The absence of his daughter seemed to snap Maggie into noticing there was someone else present besides the two of them. She stepped back a little to give Kate the once over. Kate hated when other women did that. And was that a hint of jealously she saw flicker across the other woman's features?

"Richard, you didn't tell me you had a friend here." She playfully smacked his arm and extended her hand to Kate while still looking expectantly at Rick.

He jumped to action, "Oh, I'm sorry. Maggie, this is...," he glanced at Kate and she could tell he didn't know how to introduce her.

She stuck out her hand. So much for flying under the radar. "Kate, Kate Rogers." She smiled cordially but cast a quick glance to Castle who seemed to struggle with the recovery.

Maggie smiled a little too widely, "So nice to meet you, Kate."

Kate could see the moment Maggie connected the dots. Damn.

"Wait! Are you the Kate- _the Kate_, that inspires Rick's new books?" Maggie had a hand placed on Castle's bicep that, try as she might, Kate could not ignore.

She laughed lightly, "Oh, no. Different Kate. I'm just, uh, staying with Rick for a while."

Kate could practically see the rumors formulating in Maggie's bleached little head. This was not good.

"Ohhh, Rick, you little scoundrel! You didn't tell me you had a new girl!" There was that flicker of jealousy again. Like Kate should talk. She found she still couldn't pull her eyes completely away from the long, painted fingernails gripping Castle's bare skin.

"Well, it's settled then!" Maggie continued and Kate pegged her for one of those girls who really didn't need a partner in conversation. "The two of you have to come to our dinner we're hosting tonight!"

Castle, to his credit, tried to interject, "No, no, we wouldn't want to intrude!" His eyes flicked nervously to Kate.

"Richard Castle, if you do not attend my dinner party tonight I will take it as a personal insult!" She giggled obnoxiously and Kate suddenly felt sorry for Castle. No wonder he hung out at the precinct so much if this was the alternative. Spending time with the rich wives of New York did not sound like a good time and though he acted like he fit in just fine, she knew him better than that.

She took pity on him and inserted herself between them. Time for her to drive. "Well, we wouldn't want that, Maggie. We'd be glad to come. Tonight you said?"

Maggie smiled with red, painted lips, "Mmmhmm. Dinner will be served at seven and uh...," she looked Kate up and down again, "where a dress, hun."

Castle looked like his jaw was permanently stuck open and was no doubt wondering how Kate was going to murder this woman and hide the body, but Kate just smiled sweetly, "Not a problem."

Maggie shrieked unnecessarily, "Well isn't that fantastic! We'll see you all tonight! Bring wine!" And with that she took her long pink nails and matching heels and balanced precariously on the balls of her feet all the way back to her deck.

Castle finally spoke, "Why did you tell her we would go? Now you've really done it, Beckett! You have no idea what we're in for now!"

"Oh, come on, Castle. It can't be that bad. And she struck me as the type of woman who doesn't take 'no' for an answer."

They began walking back to the beach house again. "Yeah, but saying 'yes' is even worse! I'm telling you, Kate, you are going to _hate_ this! It's gonna be a bunch of middle aged women who have all had plastic surgery and have never known what a real job is because their husbands pay all the bills!"

"Give me a little credit, Castle. I never said it would be fun, but I think I can handle it."

Castle mumbled but she heard it anyway, "Yeah, I just hope _I_ can." Then louder, "Those women are like piranhas, you know- married or not! And they're gonna ask all kinds of questions- and we're supposed to be lying low!"

"Yeah, and it'll be more suspicious and they'll ask more questions if we hole ourselves up and _don't_ go!"

Castle's shoulders were slumped in defeat and his bottom lip stuck out in a partial pout.

Kate smiled and laced her fingers through his, moving close, "I'll wear a dress..." She sing-songed the last word a little. She knew he liked it when she glammed it up.

Castle kept his pout face but she could feel him relax a bit, "It better be a nice one."

"Yeah, well, you're paying, so I guess that's up to you." She raised on her toes a little to kiss his cheek, gleaning from him the smile she was looking for.

Oh man, Jensen was going to love this.

* * *

><p>AN: Yay! 15! Maggie kind of came out of no where but I kinda like her! Here's to all of us trying desperately to hang in there till Monday! Thanks for your continued reviews! They mean a lot and keep me motivated through my busy schedule!


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

Kate plucked at the skirt of her dress as it fluttered down her torso, hugged at her hips, and swished to a halt a little over mid-way down her thighs. _This'll work_, she thought, critiquing herself in the boutique's full-length mirror.

She'd chosen a simple style with one inch straps that tapered to a v-neck and tighter fitting bodice that then released in a light and flowing skirt that wasn't too short- just short enough to suggest a little mystery. And of course, there was the back- or lack of back. The material fell gracefully from the straps down her sides, then gathered gracefully at the small of her back, leaving her skin bare. _I guess that means no bra tonight._

She scrunched her face in the mirror and began to question if agreeing to go to this dinner was actually a good idea on her part. She didn't fit in with the Hamptons' crowd, that much she knew, and even found herself nibbling her thumbnail in the boutique as nervousness set in while she worried about what to wear.

Castle had sent her to a specific place in town where he said he had an account set up so she wouldn't have to pay with a card right away. She'd given him her patented upward glance as if to say, "Oh, yeah, that's 'flying under the radar'," and he'd instantly interpreted her expression and added, "They are very respectful of my- um- _status_," she could tell he was struggling, trying not to sound egocentric, "and will be very discreet."

She'd relented and, true to his word, the staff was extremely helpful and nice. Before she knew it, she was exiting the shop with her smoky red evening dress and heading back to Castle's place. The friendly woman at the counter had even sent her off with a "Thank you, Mrs. Rogers," and a subtle wink.

Kate wasn't sure how she should feel about that considering all the women Castle must have brought here in the past, but she quickly shook the feeling away. If she was going to do this thing with Castle a certain amount of trust was going to have to exist on her part.

After she pulled up the driveway in Castle's SUV she walked around the back to use the sliding door that she'd noticed Castle generally kept unlocked. He'd given her a key but she loved the view from the back deck and stopped for a moment with her new dress, in its protective plastic covering slung over her arm, to enjoy the salty wisps of wind that teased her skin and lightly picked up her hair.

When she entered and stepped into the living room she noticed Castle right away. Head resting on one arm of the couch and his feet propped on the other, she marveled at how young he looked when he was relaxed in sleep. Kate smiled. Here she'd thought he suggested picking up her dress on her own because he figured she needed some alone time when maybe he'd been the one who needed it all along.

Her eyes softened as she considered how exhausted he must be. There was no way two nights of sleep, constantly interrupted by their somewhat stressful mission, were enough to cure him of the jet lag he still hadn't had the chance to recover from. She knew he worried- about her, about them. It surprised her that he'd been better at checking in with Jensen than she had; she'd just let him take over, which was unusual. It wasn't that she didn't care anymore, but Jensen still had no word from agent Otero on the whereabouts of the sniper and had basically eluded that they had nothing to go on at this point. Rather than being frustrated, Kate found herself strangely calm. This shooter would come for her again- she was certain somehow- and really, all she had to do was wait. There was no reason she couldn't enjoy herself a little in the meantime. She laughed to herself making sure not to disturb Castle, and felt reaffirmed that this whole 'living her life' idea she'd come up with wasn't so bad.

She stole one more glance at his resting form before she tip-toed to the bedroom to shower.

* * *

><p>Castle lingered right at that place where his dreams were still within reach but he knew all he had to do was open his eyes and they would be left behind. He scrunched his eyes closed a little tighter; he wasn't ready. This was the first bout of rest he'd gotten without being woken by terrifying dreams, creepy beach-walkers, or- and not that he minded this one- Kate Beckett entering his room to tell him that she loved him.<p>

_Yeah_, he thought, _maybe I'll just ponder that one for a second._

He kept his eyes shut and snuggled into the cushions just a bit more, a faint smile turning up his lips. He reveled in the thought that he could think about her privately, but also in knowing that when he decided to join reality, she would be there waiting for him.

He exhaled contentedly and his face gave an involuntary twitch as a drop of wetness hit his cheek. He opened one eye cautiously to find Kate standing over him from the back of the couch. She must have just gotten out of the shower as her hair fell in wet, wavy ropes around her face as she leaned forward. He instantly noticed her tank top; probably because he loved her arms so much.

"Are you watching me sleep?" His voice still tinted with sleep.

"Mmmhmm." When had she become so shameless? And why was that such a turn on? He suddenly had the urge to just grab her and make out with her right there. Problem was, he wasn't sure if they were there yet. That comfort zone that allowed for spontaneous touching and kissing and...

She shook her head a bit and another cascade of water landed on his face.

He brought up his arms in defense, "Hey!"

"Come on, sleepy head. Time to get ready. Torture begins in an hour."

"Oh, are you kidding me? I've got plenty of time then! I can get ready in five minutes. I'm the king of procrastination." He rolled over on his side in an exaggerated motion of returning to his nap.

Water suddenly flooded his ear and his eyes shot open again to discover Kate, now sitting on the back of the couch, wringing out her wet hair over him. "Ahhh!" He rubbed the water out of his ear and then, before he could think about what he was doing, grabbed her arm, yanked her down on top of him, and instinctively began tickling her ribs the same way he used to do to Alexis when she was little and being obnoxious.

The squeal that escaped Kate stalled him for a moment and he paused in delight. "Why, Katherine Beckett...are you ticklish?"

She quickly composed herself but made no move to get off of him, "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Oh, okay. So you won't mind if I do..._this_!" He folded his fingers along her ribs and wriggled them enough to make her erupt with laughter again.

"Okay! Okay! Stop!" She screeched and pushed against his chest with her palms as he stopped, "I admit it! I am _a bit_ ticklish." She pushed herself up so she was straddling him in her sweatpants.

He was suddenly quite aware of how close they were and, more specifically, where she was sitting and he shifted uncomfortably. "Uh, Kate..."

She met his pleading gaze, her eyes round and innocent. "What's the matter, Castle? Too much for you to handle?" She readjusted herself on his hips purposefully.

She was leaning so far forward that her chest was parallel to his. His head was screaming, _Yes! Absolutely too much to handle!_ But he held his breath as she drew ever nearer.

Finally, as she brought a hand up to tuck a lock of damp hair behind her ear, her lips touched to his and he felt a firework explode somewhere in the back of his brain. He tried to remain still despite the fire in his gut so as not to scare her. She had never kissed him before. He had made the move on her but until now she had yet to initiate anything so intimate. This was a first and he prayed he wouldn't do anything to ruin it.

Her hands were on either side of his face now, her slender fingers absently tracing the stubble on his jaw. _I love when you do that._ He kept expecting her to pull away but she continued move her lips against his. When he felt her tongue against his bottom lip he could feel himself tremble but he wanted this to be her move, so he moved his hands to her upper thighs, taking fistfuls of sweatpants in his hands in an effort to ground the urge to grab her anywhere else.

She seemed to take this as a sign of encouragement and took his bottom lip between her teeth nibbling just slightly and then suckling away the invisible bite marks with her lips and tongue. While one hand continued to caress his face and bury itself in his hair the other seemed to have found its way to the hem of his shirt and he inhaled audibly as her fingers came in contact with the skin on his abdomen.

He felt the explosion of another firework in his head and couldn't take it anymore. He pushed back against the arm of the couch with his feet and raised his hips as she remained seated on top of him, until he could sit up. Her legs fell to either side of him, wrapping loosely around his hips as she continued to explore his mouth with hers.

She didn't seem to care that he wanted to drive a little as well so he anchored her to him with an arm around her back, his hand splayed between her shoulder blades. His other hand made itself at home on her neck, alternating between smoothing over the soft skin there and threading through her hair. _It's gotten so long._ He decided he liked it that way.

"Rick..."

He chuckled into her mouth, "Kate, if you call me by my first name again I bet we can skip the party."

She groaned not moving her mouth away from his, "Tempting...but you need to get ready."

Why had they not been having conversations like this from the beginning, again? Every time she spoke her breath tickled his lips and, while he was having a slightly hard time focusing, he didn't think he'd ever listened to her with such rapt attention as in that moment.

"I don't want to."

"We have to. I bought the dress and everything. Well," she smiled against his mouth, "you bought the dress." And then she devoured him again. He loved feeling used by her and vowed to himself to always be her plaything.

"Dress?" He was kissing down her neck now and he was pretty sure she liked it based on her quick intake of breath.

She remained steadfast, "Yes, Castle. The dark red dress. You know, the short one? I look _really_ good in it." The way she made "really" into a half sigh in that sultry voice of hers almost sent him over the edge.

He rested his forehead on her shoulder, "Fine, you win." He knew she was right. The sooner they made it to Maggie's house, said their hellos, and mingled a bit, the sooner they could come back home..._stop, Castle. It's going to be different this time. Do it right._

"Castle." It wasn't a question, she was snapping him back to reality, but gently, as she so often had to do.

"I'm still here. Just giving myself a mental pep talk."

She pulled back from him, forcing his head to hold itself up on its own, and kissed him slowly again. "I'm gonna go finish getting ready."

And with that, she swung her legs over him gracefully and headed back to the bedroom, the hairs that had dried during their make-out session separating themselves from the wet locks and catching on the air behind her.

Castle sat for a few minutes after watching her leave the room to let himself come back down to earth. He loved that woman. He wanted to hold her against him and breathe her in and feel her skin and have her hold him back. He sighed, resolutely swearing that he would do everything in his power not to crash and burn this time.

A grin tugged at his mouth as he recalled the last twenty minutes. He didn't think he'd ever fully get used to her; her grace, beauty, and that hint of teasing naughtiness that drove him wild. Best wake up call ever.

He headed to the bedroom and decided that perhaps a cold shower was in order if he was ever going to survive the evening.

* * *

><p>AN: Just a little thank you for being so patient in waiting for this update! I know it's all a bit AU now since season 4 has started up, but I think I'll keep going. Thank you to everyone who reads and reviews! Reviews are my life blood right now, so even if you only have time for one word I'd be oh so happy to read it! Thanks again!


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

They stood in front of the dark stained oak door, neither one making the move to knock. The sounds of mingling voices and dinner music curved their way around the house from the back overlooking the beach, almost like a warning to turn back before it was too late.

"Are you ready?"

She shook her head without looking at him, "No."

"I'm just gonna risk it and throw this out there, but you're the one who got us into this."

At this she turned towards him, a little frown knitting her brows together, but her eyes betrayed her annoyance, "I was thinking of the greater good."

"The greater good? Oh, you mean me getting to see you in that dress? Almost worth it." She nudged him with her bare shoulder. "You look beautiful, by the way."

"Thank you." She had to admit, the dress was pretty fantastic. It had a bit of silver beading that lined the straps and followed the vee between her breasts and the scoop of fabric that fell to her lower back. She liked the way he stared when the light caught her just right. She had softly curled her hair the way he liked it and let it do its own thing, falling down her back and over her shoulders on each side. Black stilettos finished off her evening look; a gift from Castle found in one of the mystery shoeboxes he'd purchased when they'd first arrived. She didn't even want to know how he knew she'd need them.

She had to hand it to him; the man sure did know how to dress for a date. He'd complemented her with black slacks and shoes, a maroon button-down shirt, and a black tie he'd had her knot in a loose single windsor.

"You look good too." He looked so good she found herself wishing they were going on a _real_ date instead of this monstrosity of an evening.

Castle looked down at his chest, "Thanks. You're stalling."

"I'm not-"

"You called Jensen, right?"

"Now who's stalling?" She did a quick weave of her head to toss all her hair behind her, "But, yes, I did. He wasn't thrilled with the idea, but he agreed that it was better than having all your nosy neighbors poking around asking questions. He said he'd stick close by tonight."

"Oh, good." Castle couldn't keep the sarcasm out, "I hate feeling like that guy's watching me all the time. It's creepy." He shook his arms out dramatically.

"Hey, at least we've got back up. Okay, let's get this over with." She raised her knuckles to the door just as it swung open to reveal Maggie in a baby blue, satin cocktail dress.

"Well hey, you two! Are you gonna stand out here all night or do you want to come in and join the party?" If it was possible, Maggie's voice was even higher pitched than the first time they'd run into her.

"Do we have a choice?" Castle mumbled and Kate subtly jabbed him in the ribs with her elbow.

"We were just getting ready to knock, what a coincidence. Nice to see you again, Maggie." Kate extended her hand to the woman and figured by her continued sunny expression that she'd either missed Castle's comment or chose to ignore it.

Maggie leaned in to kiss Kate's cheek as though they had been friends for years, "Well, don't you just look divine!" She quickly turned her attention to Castle, offering the back of her hand for a kiss, "And Richard, you look handsome, as always!"

Castle seemed to remember his manners sometime in the last two minutes and obliged, placing a small peck on Maggie's proffered extremity as she watched, enthralled. "Always a pleasure, Maggie."

Their gracious hostess gave a flirty little laugh before ushering them inside and introducing them to the hordes of people grouped casually in the entryway and living area, drinks in hand.

Kate made sure to smile appropriately even though she was slightly panicked at not being able to remember all the names that were being tossed around the room. She breathed a sigh of relief as Maggie was summoned off somewhere else and Castle quickly took over. It seemed he knew quite a few of these folks, which didn't really surprise her.

He kept up introductions easily and she found it oddly reassuring that he constantly presented her as "my partner, Kate". Just a little reminder that they were in this mess together. The absence of the term "girlfriend" also made her feel less like a rich bimbo. She'd have to remember to thank him for that later.

She noticed as Castle raised his hand in a small wave, "Neil! How are you?"

A well dressed, middle-aged man with a kind smile made his way over to them. "Rick, nice to see you! How's the family?"

"Oh, they're fine, you know, busy!"

"Yeah, I hear ya. The kids are getting ready to start school in the next week, but Maggie just couldn't be bothered to leave for Manhattan so soon. Luckily Josh and Amy are pretty self reliant now."

Castle nodded, "I can't believe they're both in college now." He paused for a moment and Kate could tell he was looking for her so she stepped a little closer to the two men. He laid his palm gently on her arm, "Neil, this is my partner, Kate. Kate, this is Maggie's husband, Neil."

Neil shook her hand in a welcome change from all the hand kissing she'd been receiving since she walked in the door. She had to consciously remind herself to close her mouth that desperately wanted to hang open in surprise. She couldn't believe that such a nice and mild-mannered man could be married to the Barbie in baby blue who was currently hanging on another man's arm across the room.

She checked herself and smiled genuinely at Neil, "Nice to meet you."

"Likewise," he returned the smile easily, "Rick, you always did know how to pick 'em. Can I get you all a drink?" He seemed to suddenly notice their empty hands.

"That would be great. Kate?" Castle met her eyes, and although it was only momentary, she felt instantly more comfortable.

"Uh, dirty martini? Two olives if you don't mind."

Neil nodded, "I can do that. Rick?"

"You know me, Neil. I'll just take whatever scotch you're serving tonight."

"It's a good one. I think you'll like it. Just give me a minute." Neil walked towards the patio where Kate could see a minibar set up across from the pool.

"Wow, Castle, your friends really know how to throw a party."

"Mmmm." Castle's reply was noncommittal and when she looked at him in question she felt the blush rise in her cheeks as she realized he was staring at her.

She self consciously ran her fingers through her hair and tucked a strand behind her ear. "Castle. You're staring."

"Sorry, I can't help it! You are extraordinary."

She rolled her eyes, "Oh boy, is it gonna be one of those nights?" But she couldn't help smiling at him. With her heels on they were almost eye to eye and if she just moved a little closer...too bad she felt like they were on display right now, "So, that's Maggie's husband, huh?"

Castle nodded, "Yeah, why?"

"Oh, I don't know. I guess I just wouldn't have put them together. I kinda like Neil." She trailed off, not wanting to say anything bad against Maggie since she really didn't know her. She knew from personal experience that first impressions could be a bitch to overcome.

Castle laughed at her inference, "Yeah, well, he's a good guy. A good business man with a heart of gold. Makes him kinda stupid, though." Kate raised her eyebrows in question. "Maggie seemed to know exactly what she was looking for when Neil came along, and I think Neil just wanted so badly to see the good in her that he made her into something she wasn't."

"Hmmm." Kate crossed her arms thoughtfully, "I guess it's good to know there are people out there who can only see the good in us."

"Yeah, makes me feel bad for him sometimes, though." Kate followed his gaze to Maggie who was ostentatiously flirting with one of the younger male guests. The way he looked at them made Kate wonder if the scene must not be that unfamiliar to him. She could see how being married to Gina, or especially Meredith, could conjure up some unsavory memories considering the familiarity of their surroundings.

She used both hands to grasp his arm in an effort to pull him out of his thoughts. "Hey, you wanna go out back and get some air?" She sort of loved being so tall and used it to her advantage by placing a small kiss to his cheek, but nothing showy. He met her eyes and the adoration found there made her mentally stumble for just a moment.

She cleared her throat in recovery and barely caught his reply, "Sure. I think I see Neil heading back over. We can meet him half way."

* * *

><p>A little over an hour later Kate nonchalantly attempted to break eye contact from the man who was trying to regale her with his adventures in stock trading. Tom something, but she couldn't remember his last name and assumed he wasn't married if the not-so-subtle trailing of his eyes up and down her body as they talked was any indication.<p>

She scanned the crowd across the pool for any sign of Castle but he'd been pulled aside by some of Neil's friends earlier to check out the remodeled basement, which Neil now deemed the "man cave".

_Great. Now I have to pretend like I actually have a vested interest in stock trading._

"So, what are your thoughts?" Oh crap. He'd been talking the whole time and she'd been thinking on how to escape.

She ran her fingers through her curls which seemed to do the trick in distracting him for a moment. "I'm sorry, Tom, thoughts on what?" Using the first name of a man she'd just met had succeeded in getting her out of conversational jams in the past.

Yep. It worked. He smiled at her as if she was the only woman on earth who understood him. "Exactly! That's what I've been telling those sons of bitches on top! They've left the consumers nothing to talk about. That's what they get for coming out with such a boring product."

She nodded trying not to appear absent.

Tom didn't seem to care. "Who did you say you were here with again?"

"Rick Castle." There was really no point in lying.

"Ah, one of Rick's girls, huh? You must be new, I didn't think I'd seen you before."

"Uh, yeah, this is my first time here." She was trying really hard not to read into Tom's moniker. "Rick's girls"? How many girls did he bring up here anyway?

"So, are you guys friends, or..." Tom trailed off. God, this guy wasn't gonna quit.

Unfortunately, Kate had about had it. "Actually, Tom, we're kind of undercover right now." She was tired of feigning interest, and Tom seemed about as inconsequential as a decoy in a line-up.

He laughed a little as if he didn't believe her. "Undercover. Like, a cop thing?"

She flipped her hair over her shoulder, "Well, I _am_ a police Detective."

He was trying to figure out if she was serious. "You are? I assumed you were in the publishing business."

"Why would I be?"

"Well, you know Rick, never strays too far from home. But, seriously, a Detective?"

"Yep."

"And you're undercover." Wow. Tom was catching on fast.

She shrugged noncommittally, "More or less."

"Why?" He leaned in closer, "Do we have a killer among us?"

"Possibly." She deadpanned. He laughed.

"Really? In the Hamptons?" He looked incredulous. How naive.

"Actually, the killer wants me dead and may have followed me here." God, Jensen would kill her if he found out she was blowing her cover just to get some jerk to leave her alone.

He looked her up and down again, "You are fascinating. Can I get you another drink?"

Tom certainly wanted to get laid tonight, of that much she was certain. Most people didn't offer her a drink after finding out she was on someone's hit list.

"Oh, no thanks, I think I'll stick with the one I've got."

He moved closer, sliding his hand up the back of her arm, "Or, we could get outta here and really confuse that killer of yours."

She stiffened. Really? She wanted to sock that smile clean off his pretty little, smoothly shaven face. "Listen, Tom-"

"Kate?" An unfamiliar voice cut her off. She turned her steely look from Tom to a well dressed, fair skinned, and dark haired man approaching them.

The man cut in between her and Tom with ease, "Wow, Kate, it's been so long! How long has it been? God, it's so good to see you!"

Kate knew confusion had to be written all over her expression but the man continued to speak to her as though they knew each other and smoothly led her away with a hand on her back, leaving Tom frowning irritatedly by the pool.

When they were far enough away she stopped them and turned, trying to keep the aggression to a minimum. "I'm sorry to be rude, but I don't know you. I think you've made a mistake."

He smiled easily and extended his hand, "I'm Edward. Sorry for the awkwardness but a friend of yours, Mr. Jensen, I think, asked if I would come rescue you."

Well, she had to hand it to Jensen, the guy had skills. She hadn't seen him once tonight but apparently he _was _watching.

She nodded in understanding and shook his hand, "Okay, that makes a little more sense. Thanks for that." She gestured to the spot she and Tom had formerly occupied. "I'm Kate, by the way...but it seems you already knew that."

He brushed it off, "Oh, no problem! Glad I was around to help. Some guys just can't take a hint."

Edward chuckled and though she was tired of small talk for the evening, she found there was a certain easiness to this man's demeanor and laughed in spite of herself.

"No kidding. I think I could have told him the zombie apocalypse was coming and he still would have interpreted it as me saying I wanted to go home with him." She rolled her eyes.

Edward gave an easy chuckle again and casually slipped his hands in the pockets of his slacks, "Well, you might have to cut the guy a little slack seeing as you might be the prettiest girl here tonight."

She stiffened at his compliment, but there was no hunger or inappropriate lust in his eyes as they crinkled in a grin.

Relaxing, she lowered her gaze, "Thank you, but I think you're being a little too generous." He continued to smile. "So, do you live out here year round?" He seemed like the safest option for small talk until she could glue herself to Castle again.

"I do. I just moved here though." He brought his hand to his mouth as though he was telling a secret, "I'm pretty sure my invitation to tonight's festivities was motivated by pity since I don't know anyone."

"Join the club."

"You too, huh? Did you come with anyone tonight?" Again, just a casual question.

"Yeah, I did. He was kidnapped by some of the other guys a while ago to visit the 'man cave'."

"Ah. Yes, well, it appears that I haven't reached 'man cave' status yet."

"At least you have a chance!" Was she actually joking with this guy? "I'm a girl," she gestured along her figure, "So, no luck for me!"

She paused as they laughed, "So, uh, where did you meet Jensen?"

He put a hand to his head, "Oh, right! He must be your date!"

"Actually, he's not. Just a, uh, friend."

"Oh. Well, I went down to the beach earlier to grab a little break from everyone and he was leaning up against the side of the house. He just told me who he was and who you were and what you were wearing, and asked if I wouldn't mind giving you an out to your current conversation."

She raised her eyebrows.

"I know. Weird, right? I thought so too, and I was planning on blowing him off and going home, but when I got back to the pool, I saw you and realized what he was talking about." He grinned, "You should have seen your face! You looked like you were ready to clock the guy!"

She smiled, "Yeah well, it may have come to that. I guess he owes you big time."

"Nah, if it were up to me I'da let you knock him out. Creepy dudes give us all a bad name."

She gave a small laugh and tucked a lock behind her ear again. She knew she did that more often when she was in a slightly uncomfortable situation. So far Edward seemed harmless, but she couldn't help but feel like she was in a sea of piranhas.

"So, where's this date of yours? Maybe we should go find him so the singles will quit trying to pick you out of the herd." God. Was it written all over her face? She was Katherine Beckett, dammit! If she could hold her own in the bullpen, she could certainly fend for herself here.

"No, it's alright. I'm sure he's just talking with some of the other guys downstairs." And, if he was friends with some of these people it was only fair to let him catch up with them without having to worry if she was comfortable or not.

Edward nodded, "Well, you're certainly faring better than I am tonight. This is the first real conversation I've had all evening. If it hadn't been for Jensen's, albeit odd, request I'd have bailed a long time ago."

Her lips turned up again, "Oh, trust me, it's tempting. But I think I've been through worse."

He looked at her incredulously, "Yeah? Why? What do you do?"

She sipped her drink, "I'm a cop."

Now he seemed really interested, "No kidding! I bet you see some freaky stuff, huh?"

She nodded, "Sometimes."

"So do you stop people from speeding and stuff?"

Oh, what the hell. "I'm a homicide detective, actually, so no, not really the car stuff. More like the interrogate suspects and catch killers stuff."

"Wow."

Yeah, that usually got most people.

Edward stared for a moment, "That's gotta take some brains. You must have to be pretty smart then?"

That's weird, she'd never thought of it that way. "Uh, I guess smart enough. I can hold my own, if that's what you're asking."

Edward's eyes were shining with interest, "No, I just mean, if you're catching killers then you've gotta be able to anticipate your suspect's next moves, and get into their minds, right? And that has to take some serious skill."

"I suppose I have learned a lot in the field."

"How do you do it? How do you deal with that kind of thing every day, seeing what people can do to each other, and still come home at night a normal person?"

She laughed, "Well, I think 'normal' might be a little generous, but I guess just having good friends, family...you know, a strong support system...that helps a lot."

She suddenly spotted the man she'd casually been scanning the crowd for for the last two hours- up to his eyeballs in Maggie Sullivan. Apparently she'd been able to pull him away from Neil to get that one on one time Kate suspected she'd been after all along.

"You know what, Edward? Speaking of support system, I think it's time for me to return that favor you did for me for someone else."

He followed her gaze, "Ah, that must be your date. And it does look like he could use some back up." He glanced at her in a silent search for approval of his attempted cop humor, and she liked him so she gave a chuckle. He smiled in return, "Go pay it forward."

She smiled gratefully and headed toward Castle, who was in the process of prying Maggie away from him delicately, although she appeared to be focused on telling him a secret no doubt to minimize their proximity.

"Oh and hey!" She glanced over her shoulder back to Edward's voice. "If you guys ever want to go for a walk or run along the beach, I do it almost every evening. I could really use some 'normal people' time."

She grinned. Castle would like this guy. "Sure, sounds great. We're three properties up from this one."

Edward waved and turned to head back to the beach. She didn't blame him for leaving; she'd had about enough of this.

* * *

><p>Castle could swear Maggie Sullivan had been an octopus in her former life. Every time he succeeded in removing one snaking limb from his person, she'd compensate by sliding her leg against his or wrapping one of her claws around his arm.<p>

Okay, he knew octopi didn't have claws, but if she _was_ one, she would most definitely be some mutant beast with tentacles _and_ claws.

Her breath skirted across his cheek as she pressed herself close to him, whispering something he wasn't paying attention to and then giggling flirtatiously. His eyes quickly made their hundredth scan for Kate through the crowd while his hands busied themselves trying to keep Maggie's off of him.

Oh, God. There she is. He inhaled sharply as his breath caught in his throat. Maggie must have misinterpreted the sound as he could swear he felt her tongue graze his ear. He continued his battle with the octo-beast but she'd had too much to drink and he was finding it hard to concentrate on her antics.

Kate's strides towards them were purposeful and confident, made even more striking by the clap of her heels against the deck. Her muscular legs drew his eyes up and up to the swishing of her skirt as it intimately hugged her hips. And her hair...

He licked his lips involuntarily, finding it quite odd that he was more aroused by the sight of her than by the lips currently trailing down his neck. Kate was gorgeous, but when he met her eyes he saw something he only faintly recognized. Jealousy and anger, he guessed, had her irises eclipsed in black and etched with bright greenish gold around the edges, and for a split second he actually feared for Maggie as the blonde woman slowly turned to track the place his gaze hung, transfixed.

He vaguely noted the way her jaw slacked and her hands loosened their grip on his forearm. Even she could sense the magnificence of Kate's approach, and he raised his eyebrows in surprise as her body disengaged from his and she stepped back from him, not daring to break eye contact with Kate.

Kate inserted herself smoothly between them, slipping her palm between his ribcage and arm. Possessive.

"Is there something I can help you with, Maggie?" Oooo. And icy.

"I, uh- no. No! I'm just- I'm...looking for my husband." Rick knew he was probably grinning like an idiot watching the exchange. _Yeah, I'd be scared too._

"That's probably a wise idea. We wouldn't want him thinking you were off misbehaving." Kate's words, if said in another tone, may have sounded playful, but the way she leveled her gaze unwaveringly on Maggie, daring her to challenge, he didn't dare laugh.

The Octo-beast fumbled, as though she knew she'd lost the battle, and exhaled noisily before stomping off in what could only be described as a small temper tantrum.

Kate still hadn't moved but he angled towards her, "Oh my God, that was amazing."

She glanced at him over her shoulder, "Yeah? You like that?"

He scoffed, "Are you kidding me? That was incredible! You're like Medusa or something, the way you just fixed that glare on her!"

She pursed her lips, "Really, Castle, Medusa? You're comparing me to a mythological creature with snakes for hair?"

He turned and slid both arms around her waist, delighted as she moved her hips closer to his and reciprocated by snaking her arms around his sides and under his jacket.

He brought his face close to hers, "Well, a very hot version of that particular villain. I think you could have turned her to stone if you really wanted to."

She smiled before touching her lips to his and shrugging, "What can I say? I don't play well with others when we're after the same prize." She raised her eyebrows playfully.

"There's no competition." He couldn't help himself. He was kissing her with more passion than was probably appropriate, poolside. His hands were in her hair and on her arms and around her waist and he fleetingly realized he was just as possessive of her as she was of him.

She let him ravish her publicly for a few moments longer than he expected and then pulled back. "You wanna get outta here?"

He smiled, intensely aware of the astonishment and envy emanating from the men and women around them. "God, yes. I think I've had just as much as I can take."

She teased him with her eyes, "And then some."

She laced her fingers through his and snaked them through the clumps of guests enjoying the slight breeze that had kicked up as the sun went down. When they reached the final, wooden step before descending on the soft beach sand she bent down without letting go of his hand and expertly popped her heels off her feet, dangling them in her free hand. She looked up at him once she had situated herself and gave his fingers a small tug to lead them closer to the water, nodding to the man loitering in the darkness next to the stairs as they passed. Jensen.

Quiet surrounded them like a warm blanket as they drew farther and farther away from the Sullivan house, and soon the only music Castle could hear was the calming melody of gently crashing waves as they lapped and foamed against the shore. Kate's dress made soft swishing sounds as it rubbed against her bare skin when she walked. He shut his eyes for a moment, reveling in her, relieved that the evening was drawing to a close.

He opened them again as Kate's warm body molded along his and she wrapped an arm around his waist, hooking her index finger through one of his belt loops. Castle responded without thinking and mimicked her movement, grasping her small waist and pulling her even closer. They walked like this until they reached his property, until she stopped him and faced out towards the water, tucking her head against his shoulder and hugging him to her as they stopped and enjoyed each others' company for the first time that evening.

It was not lost on him that Kate Beckett was not a cuddler, and yet, here she was allowing him to hold her in the soft moonlight, her hair gracing his cheeks in the breeze, and her body pressed warmly to his. He took a deep breath and dropped a kiss into her hair. He was a lucky man, and as she pulled him up the stairs and across the deck into the house, allowing him to kiss her in the living room, and in the kitchen, and letting his fingers trace the fabric of that fabulous red dress, he decided that maybe tonight hadn't been a total waste after all.

* * *

><p>AN: Mkay. So this was the hardest chapter to date and I finally decided after much editing to just post it. Thank you for your patience! As always, I would love to hear your reviews and feedback! My endless appreciation to those who have stuck with me thus far! :)


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

How it had come to this? She couldn't remember. It was stupid, obviously...how could she have been so naïve to think playing house for a few days with Castle could make everything just stop? Just go away. Well, it was wrong. She could admit that now as she laughed bitterly to herself and hunched her shoulders as best she could in a vain attempt to keep warm. It was cold at night if she wasn't stepping carefully along the beach with his warm breadth beside her and his solid arm slid down the line of her side. The material of his shirt warm from his skin, threading beneath her fingertips as they clung to him, absorbing heat and letting it slide into her like smooth coffee.

See? This. Right here. This was her problem. _They_ were her problem.

Detective Kate Beckett doesn't let her guard down just because a man tells her she's beautiful and buys her coffee...and rescues her from loneliness and whisks her away to his place in the Hamptons because he wants nothing but to keep her safe. But she did. And the worst thing about it is she doesn't even regret it. Well, maybe this part in particular, but not the closeness, the honesty, the warmth...God, it's cold in here.

Wherever "here" was. Pitch black made it difficult to tell where she was or when, so she could only assume that wherever she was couldn't be too far from where she started. She had an overwhelming urge to pinch the bridge of her nose in frustration, but the movement quickly reminded her wrists that they were bound together and already suffering the early stages of rope burn.

She hung her head as black curled just beyond the edges of her vision. Why couldn't she remember clearly? The foggy disconnect felt like she'd been suddenly awakened from a deep sleep, but she couldn't actually remember ever falling asleep. Think. What happened? She remembered the party...talking to someone nice...finding Castle in the sea of people...then quiet...

The beach! They took a walk on the beach. So, that's why it was stuck in her head. But her brain turned to mushy, convoluted wisps of things as she held to the misty feeling of resting her head against Castle's shoulder, closing her eyes, curling her toes in the sand, as her heels dangled from her fingers...and after? Something had to fill that blank space between then and now...

* * *

><p>"We should go in." It was a gentle suggestion but she knew he must have felt her shiver under the night breeze that breathed through the thin material of her dress and iced over her bare legs. It wasn't terribly cold, low to mid fifties, she guessed, but the humidity rising from the ocean's surface gave the air an edge she couldn't shake.<p>

"Yeah..." She nodded but made no move toward the deck entrance just up the sandy slope. This moment was where she'd been living these past few days. This one piece of time made up of all the other moments with him. Gone was Detective Kate Beckett; hard-nosed cop with a guarded heart and instincts that would put a bloodhound to shame, and in its place, Kate, a woman who loved and _was_ loved, and wanted to feel safe for just an extended moment. This must be what it feels like to have a wall come down.

It was unconventional to say the least, and certainly not what she expected, to have a killer break her defenses and make her ache for a safety that could only be found in someone else. She wasn't sure she could complain about it at all. It got the job done, and whether it was Castle who took a sledgehammer to the thing or something else entirely, she couldn't bring herself to regret this resulting inner shift.

He pulled back slightly, obviously puzzled at her lack of movement, and raised his eyebrows. She met his eyes through fanned lashes but for the life of her couldn't think of any articulate way to explain why she didn't want to leave this place. This time. What if it was over if they went inside?

"Hey..." A soft reprimand, perhaps for not trusting in his commitment to keeping this.

But coherent thought was suddenly a problem because his lips were brushing hers, both hands cradling her skull gingerly between his palms and caressing her lips with his. Quiet, unassuming, and present, as though he could read clearly her desperate desire to cling to _them_. This was a promise, and she could taste it as surely as he could give it.

His thumb came up to soothe the skin just under her eye, above her cheekbone. "Come with me."

Of course. Where else would she go? So, she turned, and though he'd made the original request, she pulled him toward the house.

* * *

><p>She was starting to remember. That was a good thing, right? But the darkness keeping her prison a mystery was beginning to grate on her nerves.<p>

She carefully braced herself on one knee, tentatively extending the other leg in front of her. She hadn't wanted to try moving before as her swimming head made her question her balance, but now she could sit up in the blackness without feeling like she was being spun in circles before pinning a tail on a donkey.

Her bare toes touched lightly to something and a tinkling sound filled the quiet room until she stayed the movement of her foot.

_What was that?_

Kate moved her foot again but drew back suddenly as she felt a smooth slice on the back of her heel and she hissed through her teeth in surprise. Glass?

She gingerly hovered her toes just over the floor, trying to judge the range of crunched glass. At least a semi-circle from what she could tell. So, this was how her captor had decided to keep her in one spot. Not the best scenario for her, but she had to respect this guy's methods. She was stuck; none of her senses to help her gather any information.

She threw a tight-lipped smile to the darkness and inhaled slowly. Well, that was something. The room smelled similar to Castle's beach house, which meant she was either being held in his house, and if that was the case, where was he? Or, she was in another house along the beach judging by the saltiness in the air and the slight odor of damp wood she could discern among the sting of bleach.

"At least it's clean," she mumbled bitterly to no one in particular. She assumed she was alone, as she hadn't heard any movement since she came to.

Whatever drugs she'd been given were starting to wear off and anxiety began to weave itself around her heart as she considered the gravity of her predicament.

These had to be the people responsible for the shooting in Maine. As far as she knew, no one else wanted her dead at the moment. Was Castle being held somewhere else? Was he alive? Did he know she was missing? She didn't even know what time it was; it seemed like night, but maybe the room was boarded up against any light.

Castle.

She strained her wrists against her bindings, gaining protest from the tender skin on her wrists. They were in danger, and if her drug addled brain hadn't realized this initially, it was screaming at her now.

They needed to find each other.

* * *

><p>Castle rolled over to cold sheets and a massive hangover...which was odd since he couldn't remember having had much to drink the night before. Two, if he remembered correctly.<p>

Ugh. His stomach churned uncomfortably. Maybe it was something he ate last night, but that didn't explain the detached feeling in his head or his intense dehydration. Water. Water would be good right about now.

He smiled despite his discomfort as he remembered that Kate was sleeping soundly just over the pillow that was currently smashed into the side of his face. He reached for her, foregoing the warning in his mind of disturbing her sleep, but was met with empty space bereft of even a remnant of her warmth.

He lifted his head as the room suddenly became very real, and he discovered he was very alone. Maybe she was making breakfast.

"Kate?"

No answer.

Empty bathroom, empty kitchen.

Okay...don't panic...check out back.

Castle squinted against the morning light streaming in through the sliding door, hoping to see Kate's slim form slicing the twinkling waves that stretched to the horizon.

But the ocean water mocked him as it hungrily lapped the shore without a footprint to mar its surface.

Maybe now a little bit of panic.

He pulled on jeans and a t-shirt quickly as he contemplated calling Jensen. He felt like the guy already thought he was a bit of a joke, and he definitely didn't want to make a big deal out of nothing, but no matter how he sliced it, someone was after Kate and she was suddenly missing. Yes, it was true, she was independent and often took care of herself without him, but it wasn't wishful thinking as he recalled the last couple of days and how inseparable they'd become.

Things were changing, and while it was partially by necessity and the presence of current danger that forced them to become a cohesive unit, he knew their relationship was changing as well, which meant something was very wrong, and he needed to swallow his pride and call Jensen.

He splashed some water on his face; he needed all his focus right now. As he swiped a towel over his face, and routinely glanced at his reflection in the mirror as he caught a rogue rivulet of water swiftly tracking down his neck, he saw it.

It wasn't terribly obvious, and had his eyes not caught it by chance he would have missed it, but the small puncture mark now glared at him from his reflection.

Somehow he made it back to the bedroom without tripping over the haste of his own feet and speed dialed Jensen.

Of course, the one time he needed him he wouldn't answer. Fine. Choice number two then.

"Esposito."

"Esposito? It's Castle."

"What's up, Bro? You and Beckett confess your undying love for each other yet? Just kidding. What's up? You sound kinda tense."

Normally Castle would have appreciated Esposito's attempt at humor in the morning, but he didn't have time to waste.

"I lost her."

"Huh?"

"I said I lost her! I woke up this morning and she was gone! I can't get ahold of the fed that's supposed to be watching out for her."

"Okay, so you can't find Beckett."

Castle nodded into the phone. His impatience was so prominent he didn't trust his mouth to come up with anything but bitter edged sarcasm.

"When did you last see her?" Esposito continued, trying to paint the picture. Good, that's what Castle needed right now, a clear head.

"Last night."

"What time last night?"

"Early this morning, I guess. I think I woke up for a second around 3 am and she was still sleeping." Castle ran a hand from his forehead to his chin. He was so hyper-aware of her lying next to him since it was still such a novelty, how could he have missed her getting out of bed...or being yanked out of bed? His eyes slipped shut; oh, he'd most likely been drugged, right.

Esposito was still talking, apparently, "How do you know she was there? Did you check on her?"

Oh.

"Um, kind of. We were in the same room..." he trailed off.

A beat of silence, but nothing more from the detective, "Okay, and then?"

"And then it was morning, and I woke up, and she was gone."

"You sure she didn't just go off on her own this morning? You know Beckett."

"And normally I'd agree with you, but we've stuck together since Rockland- just to be safe, and she didn't even leave a note."

As he spoke he found himself holding to the foolish hope that Kate would suddenly and nonchalantly sweep in through the back door and berate him for panicking before gathering sufficient evidence.

"Look, I just know something's not right."

Esposito must have sensed the defeat Castle knew must be lacing his tone, as the line of questioning suddenly ceased.

"Alright, Bro. We're on our way...You know we're gonna have to bring Gates in on this. I don't think Ryan and I can get away with another out-of-town trip with nothing to show for it."

Castle nodded, "Yeah. Thanks, Espo."

"Hey, Castle?"

"Yeah?"

"Try to hang tight, Man. We'll find her."

"Yeah."

* * *

><p>Kate's eyes felt numb. She'd been in the dark so long she couldn't tell if her eyes were open or closed anymore. Black looked the same either way.<p>

She wasn't panicking. She wasn't. She could feel her breaths coming in short, shallow spurts, but she attributed that to claustrophobia, and not to being held against her will, God knows where.

She carefully rolled her sore shoulders and maneuvered her neck as best she could. Movement was a problem, which was probably the reason she felt like she couldn't take a full breath. As best she could tell, she was completely surrounded by broken glass that her kidnapper had cleverly laid out on the hardwood floor to keep her from exploring her surroundings or trying to escape. Good one. The guy was smart.

Her wrists were bound to further restrict her movements, but her feet weren't. Why? If he wanted to keep her in one place what better way to do it then- wait. The glass. He _wanted_ her to discover the cage he'd constructed for her, which meant binding and gagging her completely was too easy. He wanted to see what she would do, to notice what he'd done to keep her here. Shit. One of _these_.

He wanted her to know how smart he was.

And, oh, she could see it. In the quiet darkness she was helpless, the ball in his court. All she could do was wait for him. Wait and study and find a weakness.

Her muscles tensed as her ears picked up the sound of footsteps approaching, and finally, the clicking latch of a door opening.

She could sense him. He was in the room with her. Instinctively, her breath shallowed to the point of being almost undetectable, but she knew she couldn't hide from him in his own lair.

Goosebumps rose on her flesh as she waited.

"Detective Beckett, I trust you're enjoying your stay?"

Condescending, icy, manipulative.

Here we go.

* * *

><p>AN: Thanks to all who have stuck with this story through these AWFUL lengths of time between chapter updates. All I can say is that stress tends to squelch my creativity and confidence. This is also the first time I've ever written a multi-chapter story and I really want to make sure I don't cheat you guys by updating too quickly and writing myself into a corner! To you'vegotthis: I apologize for taking so long to update! I really do intend to finish this no matter how long it takes (but I'll try to be better). Thanks to all of you!


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

"Detective Beckett. So nice of you to join me."

She was wound tight. Every muscle tense and ready for whatever game this asshole wanted to play. She knew she needed to relax minutely to conserve some mental energy for the smaller things, like listening to the nuances in his voice. Well, he was a man. She was pretty sure about that.

"My apologies. Seems as though someone drugged me." Her dry sarcasm cracked in the moist air as he attended to a small lamp with something dark flung over the shade so that only a bit of light escaped. Only enough to see where he was going, no doubt. Wouldn't be very intimidating to trip all over your own prison.

A smooth chuckle floated through the room. A man who appreciates dry humor, apparently.

She waited, but he made no move to continue any kind of conversation.

"So, you gonna tell me what's going on here?" She winced and cursed her impatience, knowing full well that gave him the upper hand if he knew she wanted something from him.

"I'm sure you have a lot of questions about so many things..." She could hear the slight smile in his words. Obviously he was under the impression he could enlighten her about...something...maybe she could use that later...depending on how much "later" she had left.

She remained silent, attempting to tamp down the anger that had been building since the first shooting. Tried to remember her training; sometimes silence is the best way to encourage the suspect to open up.

"Well, let's start with one question at a time. You can ask me anything, and I will tell you the answer." It worked. Unfortunately, now the ball was right back in her court. He was a quick return. She heard him tinkering around in front of where she was sitting on the floor and to the right. The squelched light did help a little.

"Who are you." More of a demand than a question, but she figured she may as well dive in somewhere.

His hands continued preoccupy themselves but his voice was for her alone. "Oh, come now, Detective. You know very well who I am. You don't mean to say that you don't lie awake at night thinking about where I might find you next."

He was already making her angry. Not a good sign, but who did this guy think he was? The way he spoke was so fabricated, unnatural, like he was trying to prove himself to her without showing his whole hand. Fine. She could reign it in. Egotistical bastards like him hate apathy, right? So, she'll act like she doesn't care.

She shrugged her shoulders in the lukewarm darkness, "So, you've been following me then."

He chuckled with his back still turned away from her, "I guess you could say that. But, you know, I do so much more than _follow. _I've been studying you- and I must say, Ms. Beckett, you make a fascinating subject."

She scoffed, "Glad I could serve as sufficient entertainment for your little experiment." _Where's Castle? What have you done with him? _She desperately wanted to ask, but she couldn't. That would give her away, and if by some chance this guy didn't know about Castle she didn't want to tip her hand. She had so few cards at this point anyway.

"Yes, you never ceased to surprise me; always resourceful, always logical, following where the evidence leads."

She wasn't gonna lie. Having this psycho repeat almost word for word her own motto back to her was more than a little disconcerting. Don't give it away, "That's part of being a cop." If he'd been following her he must know, especially if he was involved with... "You're with them, aren't you."

"If by 'them' you're referring to the shooting in Maine, then you would be correct, but I'm more of an 'outside hire', so to speak."

Kate huffed on a humorless laugh, "Not just Maine. You were there, in the cemetery that day," she could feel her voice rising in volume and passion in equal measure, but to hell with it, "You put a bullet in my chest because I was getting too close to the truth."

Her breathing was rapid and she slipped her eyes shut in an attempt to find the calm her fluttering heart needed to stabilize.

She could hear him shift, "Very good, Katherine. You see? I knew you knew who I was."

"That's not who you are, that's what you've done- to me, to the people close to me!" she bit back.

He was quiet.

She took a steadying breath, "So, I'll ask again. Who are you?"

He was still, almost as though he was considering her question, then sighed, "I'd foolishly hoped you'd come to this conclusion on your own, but then again, not many people could have gotten as far as you have already, so I'll give you this."

_So kind of you._ But she waited and said nothing.

"We've met before." The monotone in his voice alleviated just slightly and she could hear some familiar inflection. He continued, "I believe I helped you out of a rather uncomfortable situation last night."

Tears suddenly stung the backs of her eyes, frustrated at her own blind trust and stupidity. She blinked them away, but couldn't prevent the strained whisper that escaped her lips.

"You."

* * *

><p>"Yeah, thanks." Castle took the card offered by the cop who'd been questioning him. Esposito had gotten on the horn to the nearest police station who'd sent out a squad car to his home as quickly as possible. He'd answered all their questions, but couldn't help feeling all this was a little pointless. These were professionals they were dealing with, after all, and maybe he was bias, but even the one person he believed could take them on was having trouble staying one step ahead- obviously- since she was missing.<p>

He pinched the bridge of his nose. Evening, and he still hadn't heard anything from Jensen. This gave him a funny feeling too, but his nerves were so raw he didn't really trust himself as his mind jumped from horrible conclusion to horrible conclusion, playing a ruthless game of connect the dots with his overwrought dendrites.

Ryan had called from the road, saying they were about an hour and a half out, that they'd gotten a hold of agent Otero back in Washington and he and his team were still on the hunt for the mystery shooter, that they had a lead and felt they were getting close. Castle's faith in the FBI was not unshaken at this point, however, and it gave him little comfort to think that a team of feds could make much of a difference from so far away.

It was just him- well, him and Kate, but someone or something had taken her away, and without her, it was just him. Alone.

God, he missed her- already. He'd miss her anyway, but now he couldn't help it. Every time he thought of her warmth- breath and body- near him, his heart reminded him what it would feel like if he never saw her again, and it wasn't a feeling he wanted to live with.

He needed a distraction. The sliding-glass door to the back deck made a sucking sound as it opened to the sea air and he purposefully descended the stairs down to the beach. A walk would do him some good, and who knows, maybe he might find a clue as to where she was taken. A long shot, he knew, but a desperate man would do anything- hope anything- to get back the woman he loved.

* * *

><p>It was cool, as it had been the past few days, and Castle shoved his hands as deep in his jean pockets as they would go while he strode through the brisk breeze along the shore. He'd been walking for a while now, about a mile and a half down from his own property, now close to some he didn't recognize.<p>

One house in particular stood out to him as he approached. It had been vacant for a while, he remembered, but he thought someone had just recently purchased it. He pressed his lips together. The poor house didn't look like anyone was up and running inside. Windows stood boarded up to the ocean view, and the paint job, at least from the outside, looked to be in need of some serious touch up.

He was about to pass it by without another thought when a voice called out, "Mr. Castle?"

He glanced in the voice's direction and glimpsed a man descending the back steps down to the sand. He was familiar, oh, what was his name. Castle raised a hand in a hesitant wave to give himself some time to remember.

Edward! From the party the night before.

Relieved, he approached to meet the other man half way.

"Hey, Edward, right?" He shook the man's hand.

"Yeah, nice to see you again, Mr. Castle."

Castle nodded politely. He wasn't really in the mood for small talk, but Kate liked him, so he thought he'd better try.

Edward gave what looked like a slightly concerned smile back, "So, uh, what brings you out to my end of the beach this evening?"

Castle scratched the back of his neck with one hand, trying to nonchalantly avoid meeting Edward's eyes, "Just out for a walk and didn't realize how far I'd come, I guess."

Edward nodded, "Where's your better half," he smiled at his own moniker.

"Actually," Castle hesitated. He didn't want to completely blow their cover, but questioning the neighbors seemed like the next logical step, and if it meant finding Kate alive... "Actually, she's missing. I know it sounds weird," he rushed, "but we're kind of in the middle of something and I think she may have been taken."

Yep. Edward had that awestruck look that happened to Castle when he had to remind himself he was participating in reality and not in one of his books. He tilted his head and tried to look genuine, giving Edward some time to process.

"She was kidnapped?" There. He was getting it.

"Well, I haven't seen her since early this morning, and it isn't like her to take off without leaving a note or something, so I have to assume the worst."

"Yeah, yeah, that makes sense, I guess."

"So, you didn't see her this morning, maybe going for a run or something down here?" A long shot, he knew, but it was worth a try.

"No, no, haven't seen her at all today, but I slept pretty late this morning, so who knows." Edward shrugged his shoulders apologetically.

Castle couldn't help the disappointment that leaked into his limbs, making his posture sag, "I didn't think you'd probably seen her, but I thought I'd ask. Listen, if you see or hear anything weird would you let me know? No matter how small it seems. Some cops are heading up here from the city so any little thing might help."

"Oh, yeah? These her coworkers?"

That's weird. "Uh, yeah, how'd you know?"

"We were talking at the party last night and she mentioned she was a cop. That have anything to do with her disappearance?"

He didn't realize Kate was so free with talking about her actual profession while they were supposed to be lying low. He could feel frustration at her uncharacteristic carelessness bubble up, but he tamped it back down. She must have known what she was doing.

He turned his attention back to Edward, "Yeah. Probably."

"Listen, I'm sorry, Man. I'll keep my eyes and ears open. Let me know if you need anything."

Castle nodded, "I will."

His attention snapped to the house suddenly as a loud bump traveled to where they stood in the sand, below.

He stepped closer to the slatted wall, "What was that." He glanced at Edward, who suddenly seemed to be a bit more twitchy than he'd been ten seconds ago.

"Oh, nothing, probably the dog- gets lonely sometimes. I'd better go back in."

Okay, Edward was definitely acting funny. "You want me to go in and wrestle with him a bit? I'm really good with dogs." Castle tried to give him a smile, but he knew his eyes weren't in it.

Edward didn't seem to care, "Oh, no, no, I'm sure you've got much more pressing things to attend to right now. Go, and I'll let you know if I hear anything."

Another loud noise, like something banging against wood, had Castle craning his neck to the upstairs window again. "Sounds like that dog really wants to get out."

"Yeah, I'd better go in," Edward was already heading back up the stairs, "Good luck, I hope you find her."

"Thanks," Castle waved slowly, still craning his neck to peer into the second level windows. He could see nothing and he glanced at his watch. Esposito and Ryan would be arriving in about half an hour, so he turned and headed back towards his own house.

* * *

><p>Kate pulled her knees to her chest and kicked out with everything she had against the wooden boards that covered the windows. In Edward's- or whatever his real name was- haste to attend to whatever he'd glimpsed outside he'd left one of the boards pulled out just a bit, so that a small amount of what appeared to be evening light slanted into the pitch black room.<p>

It was stupid, but that miniscule bit of light afforded Kate the hope she needed to drag her legging-clad thighs through the glass and up onto the bay window seat, where she was now laying supine with her knees drawn up as she pounded with her feet against the boarded window with as much strength as she could muster.

She was bitterly thankful that her hands were bound in front of her so that she wasn't laying on top of them while trying to break out of this unconventional prison. With every kick of her legs the board came off kilter just a little bit more, and a new fraction of light poured in. She kicked faster, harder. She'd jump out of the window if it came to that.

She was suddenly wrenched up by her shoulders from her position, and didn't have enough time to reestablish balance before a clenched fist connected with her cheek bone, making little fireworks of light explode behind her eyelids.

She sagged in Edward's grasp, stunned by blunt force, trying desperately to focus on his booming voice in such close proximity.

"- realize what you could have done? This was unacceptable, Detective!" He was angry, but visibly attempting to calm himself. He lowered his voice and it was sinister in her ear, his lips brushing way too close for comfort, "You aren't playing by the rules, are you."

He jerked her towards a bed- there was now enough light that she could make out the outlines of a bedroom- and tossed her roughly on top of it. She knew she should move, but every time she jostled her head it felt like her brain was going to explode. She fought back the urge to vomit as she lamely moved to crawl off the bed on the opposite side of him. Anything to get away.

But, he yanked her back violently with one knee on the bed, grasped her by the wrist. She felt cool metal and heard the familiar click of handcuffs as he linked her to the bedpost.

Edward was talking, but it seemed to be more to himself than to her, "Do this my way now. You can't play by the rules, then I'll just have to make up some new ones."

She tried to kick out, but only in vain, as she realized he'd successfully tied her extremities to each of the bedposts.

He jiggled the handcuffs, "Just in case you decide to chew through the ropes. I had no idea you were such a wild animal."

God, was that pride on his face? She fought the urge to vomit again. That would benefit no one at this point.

"Now, Katherine, maybe this will be a more suitable holding cell for you."

He brought his hand to the lateral part of her right thigh, and try as she might, she couldn't pull away from him. He swept his hand from her hip to her knee, where she'd dragged herself across the broken glass to avoid cutting her feet, and her stomach swam sickeningly. When he pulled his hand away she could see the glint of her blood off his palm from the fading light struggling to get in through the window.

He clicked his tongue, "Tell me, Detective, was it worth it? Did you really think you could escape that easily?"

She grunted, straining against the new ropes that bound her, "Seemed to piss you off pretty well."

She thought she could make out a smile in the last fragments of sunlight, "Hmm, I'm not that easy. I'm just not usually surprised- just by you, I suppose... I wonder what would happen to Mr. Castle if those cops coming from the city found your blood in his house.

Her heart leapt, and not in a good way, pounding futilely against her chest. "You leave him out of this! Stay away from him!"

"I think it's a little late for that, don't you? We're acquaintances now, after all. And, let's be honest, you were the one who brought him in on this to begin with."

"You son of a bitch." Her voice was cold, deadly, but it meant nothing as she laid there, tied up and helpless.

Edward waved his hand flippantly, "We don't have time for petty expletives, Detective, and besides, the people I'm working for would be quite upset to find I've kept you alive for this long as it is. This is purely to satisfy my own curiosity."

He moved over her, kneeling down and bracing himself on his forearms against the bed so that his lips were close to her ear. She winced away from him, even as he brought his right hand up to smooth down the side of her face, where he'd struck her before.

"Tell me, Kate. Who do you love?"

* * *

><p>AN: Hi, All! Thanks to everyone still sticking with me! I'm having a lot of fun writing it even though it's taking awhile! Thanks to Maya who gets so excited and makes me feel so awesome every time I release a new chapter! Love to you all!


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